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Colin Pascoe Would Like to Remind You Liverpool Isn't Run by Morons

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Standing in for Brendan Rodgers at Liverpool's pre-Oldham presser, Colin Pascoe did the only sensible thing and had a laugh about rumours linking Raheem Sterling with a move to Swansea.

Stu Forster

The January window may only by three days old, but when it comes to rumour mongering idiocy of the highest order it will be hard to top suggestions Raheem Sterling could be on his way to Swansea on loan. One of the club's best players over the past month, even the return of Daniel Sturridge from injury and the potential arrival of Mohamed Salah would see Sterling, at the worst, first attacker off the bench—and on form it's no guarantee either would start ahead of him.

With Philippe Coutinho on the left and Victor Moses forgotten, Sterling is currently the only fit and favoured natural wide player in the senior squad, and so even if another winger were to arrive loaning him would border on managerial malpractice. Thankfully, anybody with a pair of braincells to rub together quickly realised this and got a chuckle out of a story that only further shows the depths of foolishness rumour mongers will sink to in the name of pageviews and selling papers.

"We just laughed at the rumours linking him with a loan move away," was Colin Pascoe's response when Liverpool's assistant manager, standing in for Brendan Rodgers at Friday's pre-match press conference ahead of the weekend's FA Cup tie against Oldham, was asked about the most ridiculous rumour of the season. "Raheem has been brilliant this season—he’s going nowhere."

Pascoe further insisted Liverpool will be looking to strengthen this month, with no need to make room for new arrivals in a squad that even fully fit is far thinner than those of the club's closest competitors for the top four. To which anybody sensible nodded along and thought, Well, of course that's what they're going to do though it's nice to get confirmation Rodgers & co. aren't complete idiots.

Anybody actually needing that reassurance, though, might be better off unplugging themselves from internet for the rest of the month. Both for their own sanity and for the sanity of everyone around them.