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Still Two Teams One Club: A Liverpool Dialogue

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I think we all know where this is going.

What does it mean to be a single unified entity? No really, someone please tell me and also tell Liverpool Football Club.

Let us hypothetically take an example out of thin air that has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on real life: let’s say a club has a men’s side and a women’s side, and all things are treated equally and both sides are given the same respect because, after all, they might be two teams but they are in fact one single club. Let’s say the women’s side has over the last few years been hemorrhaging talent and has started this current season by losing all their matches so far, including one against a team that didn’t exist three years ago. Let’s say this is all happening at the same time that the men’s side (also a part of that same one club if you’ll remember from the beginning of this diatribe) have some of the top talent in the world and have won every single game of their season so far.

Surely in this hypothetical, completely fictional situation, the club—the one that both teams belong to—would want to do something because there’s a massive imbalance at work here. Surely, as a single unified entity, the club must be concerned that one of its two teams is in crisis.

We turn, as we always do in these moments, to what we can only assume is happening in the PR department of this imaginary club.

PR Person One: Isn’t it incredible how well we’re doing?

PR Person Two: Is it though?

One: Yes, of course it is! We won the Champions League last season and now we’re unbeaten in the League!

Two: Sure, but we’re also completely beaten in the league.

One: Oh no.

Two: That’s right. If we take into account how both teams that are a part of this one single club are doing, we’re just average. Middle of the league.

One: We’re the Man United of clubs! A club that the women’s side coincidentally just lost to!

Two: We’re going to have to do something to rectify this horror.

One: What better way to say we’re all in this together than a completely asinine photo on our Twitter?

Two: Brilliant! What if we add a meaningless message to it that says nothing about one of our two teams being in crisis?

One: And maybe use the word “goal” to remind everyone that the women’s side have scored none?

Honestly, there’s a not a lot to say here. The club is doing a miserable job of treating the women’s team like it’s a part of the Liverpool family. It’s also doing a terrible job of treating the women’s side the way elite football clubs are treated.

Four losses at the start of the season, on top of everything else the side has gone through, warrants a serious conversation about what exactly the way forward is. It doesn’t warrant images that fake cohesion that just isn’t there.