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Your Transfer Rumour is Bullshit: Liverpool Bid €200M for Kylian Mbappé

It’s happening!!! (It’s definitely not happening)

Paris Saint-Germain v Liverpool - UEFA Champions League Group C Photo by Xavier Laine/Getty Images

The world of transfer rumours can be a strange place filled with over-excited chancers throwing endless names against the wall like so much reheated bullshit in the hopes of guessing right often enough to collect a trail of clapping sycophants on social media.

This fake it ‘til you make it approach has seen the rise of the somewhat self-aware and mildly amusing (indykaila) to the defensive and self-serious (Fabrizio Romano), and for a lucky few it can even eventually lead to real connections as clubs and agents begin to seek to use these transfer grifters as vectors for information they want to leak into the world.

Pressing up against that bizarre ecosystem, there is perhaps nowhere more deranged than Spanish “debate” show El Chiringuito, nominally about La Liga but mostly really about Real Madrid and with a tone that can perhaps most politely be described as over-caffeinated.

Transfer talk isn’t their main thing, or at least not their only thing, but come the summer months when they don’t have any actual football to shout excitedly at each other about, talk inevitably heads in that direction. Which, in a roundabout, burying-the-lede manner, brings us to Liverpool and Kyian Mbappé.

Because according to at least one of El Chiringuito’s interchangeable screamers, Liverpool have only gone and bid €200M for him. As in a firm, formal bid. Right now. This summer. In the year of our Fowler 2023. Liverpool have dropped a massive suitcase full of cash on Paris Saint-Germain’s table.

To say we don’t believe there’s anything to it would be an understatement of unimaginably massive proportions. Like, try to visualize the fact there are now eight billion humans on our cursed planet (plus a couple more floating serenely in orbit nearby). You can’t, but try it. That’s about the size of our doubt on this one.

Still, chances are at some point today you were going to come across some Mbappé to Liverpool chatter as a result. So it might as well be here and with what will hopefully be a little bit of helpful context.

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