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Your Transfer Rumour is Bullshit: Marco Asensio Edition Vol. IV

That gonna be Asensi-no from me, dawg.

Real Madrid CF - UEFA Champions League Final Media Day
Stock image: quarter-turn, hands on hips.
Photo by Aitor Alcalde - UEFA/UEFA via Getty Images

Liverpool have replaced the departing legend Sadio Mané with club record signing to-be Darwin Núñez, while the addition of Fabio Carvalho means the dual exits of Divock Origi and Takumi Minamino are unlikely to be felt on the pitch — the two accounted for less than 1500 minutes played between them last year — and still, the rumour mongerers want you to believe that the Reds are in the market for another attackers.

While there is always a chance of an upset — or more likely, some exciting young stat merchant being brought in — what Liverpool certainly won’t be doing, is spend their entire Sadio Mané windfall on a wide attacker who, although he looked an exciting prospect six years ago, doesn’t press, can’t beat a man, doesn’t progress the ball and takes loads and loads of bad shots. Oh, and he’s playing for one of the biggest teams in the world, is on commensurate wages and will, as he enters what is supposed to be his prime, be looking for a raise.

Yes, the annual Marco Asensio rumours are here, and although it is a lovely tradition, there is little doubt the speculation will amount to the same thing it always does; Asensio not coming to Anfield.

Certainly, he is a handsome fella, and yes, his highlight reel shows off the potential of his left boot, the one that had us all so excited about him back around the Brexit vote, but over the course of the past half decade, the 26-year old has failed to establish himself as anything other than a rotational piece at Real Madrid, which means that’s the most he could hope to be at Liverpool, certainly with the Anfield outfit currently sporting four or five attackers superior to the Spaniard.

The reported €40m price tag for a player with a year left on his deal doesn’t jive with how the Reds do business either, and it all adds up to either the player and his agent jockeying for a new contract at the Bernabéu, or lazy media outlets recycling their greatest hits. At any rate, we’re fairly confident it’s not happening.