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Rumor Mongering: Liverpool “Close” To Signing Timo Werner

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Somehow this rumor is both probably true and almost certainly bullshit.

RB Leipzig v Olympique Marseille - UEFA Europa League Quarter Final Leg One Photo by Ronny Hartmann/Bongarts/Getty Images

A couple of weeks ago I received a job rejection letter. That’s not the interesting or relevant bit. The interesting and relevant bit is that it was explicitly because of COVID-19. Now, this company is rather larger in size and stature than Liverpool Football Club, and they thought “hmm, not really sure about this corona business, we probably shouldn’t hire anyone for the foreseeable future.”

My point is that companies everywhere are looking at the state of things, and probably aren’t too eager to splash the cash. And I would have cost substantially less than say, I don’t know, Timo Werner. Everything is not awesome.

Anyway, Timo Werner. He’s been linked, strongly and consistently, for months now. In another corona-less reality, he’s probably already signed for newly-minted English champions Liverpool FC. In this reality, the world is ending and no one knows which way is up (hint: it’s the direction you look when looking directly at an eclipse, you dolt).

In this reality, he’s probably no closer to signing today than he was yesterday or last month.

In this reality, clubs would be downright irresponsible to be splashing the cash when no one knows what will become of this season and/or next.

There are probably still “talks” going on, but it’s unlikely for any real progress to be made in any transfers. Regardless, today’s transfer rumor, originating in Spanish publication SPORT and picked up by British newspaper The Express, report that Werner is close to a Liverpool move.

So there’s that. It’s probably bullshit. Probably just a Spanish journo with a dartboard with names and teams on it. But it’s out there.