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Your Transfer Rumour Is Bullshit: Sadio Mané Wants Out

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In case you needed a laugh.

Liverpool FC v Atletico Madrid - UEFA Champions League Round of 16: Second Leg Photo by Visionhaus

Sadio Mané is mad at manager Jürgen Klopp, guys. No, not just mad — he’s incensed, he’s furious. Angry enough to want out of the club where he’s played the best football of his entire career, won a Champions League title, is on his way to winning a Premier League trophy, and scooped up the African Player of the Year award. This according to the British gossip rags who are usually tedious, but every once in a while manage to give us a good laugh.

What injustice, what cruel and unscrupulous act, has Klopp committed against Mané to provoke such ire?

Apparently, it was Klopp daring to back Virgil van Dijk over Mané in the race for the Ballon d’Or back in December.

Here’s the offensive statement from the boss. I should warn you that you may want to prepare yourself for this: “Last season I cannot remember a more impressive season from a defender ever. Honestly. So it would have been right if Virg won it.”

Oh dang, son. Why don’t you just stick a knife through Mané’s heart and be done with it?

This slight has so enraged the Senegalese striker — well known by Liverpool fans for his pettiness and glory hunting — that he has demanded to leave the Reds in the summer. That’s it. That’s the whole story. We don’t know where he’s going. We don’t know how much the club will demand for him. All we know is that Sadio Mané is definitely, definitely [editor’s note: a second definitely was inserted here to underscore the veracity of these claims] leaving Liverpool because Klopp praised his teammate.

We here at TLO Towers rate this rumour as 100% true, absolutely nothing fake about it. What a shame that Mané has chosen to ruin his otherwise spotless reputation with this chicanery.