Salomon Rondon to Liverpool?

On current evidence, it seems surprisingly difficult trying to come up with new and interesting transfer rumours in the footballing world. Grêmio’s Luan, for instance, has been linked with a move to Liverpool for the third window running despite nobody connected to the club ever bringing his name up except to vehemently deny any interest in the player.

So, what to do when you have no in with the big European clubs, are sick of recycling dodgy old reports for the seventh time, but still need to draw eyes to your rumour pages? Apparently, just go randomly bonkers.

There’s really no other explanation for reports claiming Jürgen Klopp is interested in West Bromwich Albion’s Salomon Rondon. The Venezuelan target man is reportedly the subject of a bidding war between Merseyside rivals Liverpool and Everton, and while he seems tailored to Grande Samuele Allardici’s particular brand of hoofball, and while he would ostensibly offer something the Reds are missing — namely a big, heavy lad to stick up top — he is by no means the right age, style or quality of player for a club looking to cement a top four spot.

For those of you who are suffering from big-man allure, here are relevant statistics; in two and a half years of Premier League football, Rondon has scored 20 goals and contributed five assists, averaging a goal every 350 minutes, and converting 9.4% of his shots. The rumoured £15m price tag does nothing to make the deal seem more plausible, and the entire affair can safely be locked away in the utter nonsense category.

Now, to get some Nabil Fekir rumours percolating...