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Your Transfer Rumor Is Bullshit: Three United Transfers for Liverpool

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Club-connected journos say Klopp has three more signings to make, but these are not your signings.

This guy....
This guy....
Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Ladies and gentlemen, we're two weeks in and silly season has only just begun. How do you like your silly season? A dash of spice? Maybe some needle? A little bit of rabble rousing on the heels of Jose making up rumors of Clyne to Barca?

Well, it appears Liverpool may've fired a riposte (or a journo is filling print): club-connected journalists insisted recently that Klopp will make three more signings before the close of the window; not club connected journos say Blind, Schneiderlin, and Depay are folks we should target, apparently.

Blind is tidy but not what we're looking for in this author's opinion; a bit too soft to occupy the midfield and definitely too soft to occupy CB. Schneiderlin is a player many of us wanted before he donned the wrong shade of red. Depay...well, I'm not sure what to think of Depay.

I am sure about how I feel about buying United players. It makes me sick. Still, irrational hatred is not necessarily a reason to turn down a good deal. In fact, reason in the face of absurdity and nonsense is a scarce value-add as a general matter.

So, you can see where this is going. Hold your nose and pick one of the following, or none: