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Rumor Mongering: Sturridge Is Arsenal's Plan B in the event of Vardy Snub

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With the news that Jamie Vardy may snub Arsenal to remain at Leicester widely reported, the Gunners reportedly are preparing a £25mm bid for the Reds' talisman.

Someone send Wenger an MC Hammer mixtape?
Someone send Wenger an MC Hammer mixtape?
Stu Forster/Getty Images

Well, ladies and gentlemen, a wise man once warned that [w]hoever fights monsters should see it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you. While normally this author has little time for caring about transfer rumors aside from having a laugh, Sky Bet have slashed odds on Arsenal prying Studge from Liverpool's cold, dead hands to 4/1 (staying at Liverpool is 1/3). Unfettered markets are another thing this author has no patience for, but one is willing to acknowledge aggregate betting patterns often are canaries in the coal mine in an anthropomorphic sense, and this gives credence to otherwise unsourced reports.

The rumors assert Liverpool are holding out for £50mm, given Sturridge has 3 years left on his current contract and has scored 53 goals in 92 appearances (per LFCHistory.net).

Another wise man once said that there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both. Let us be clear, there is an argument for selling the oft-injured striker for £50mm or close to it. Sturridge has missed many, many games since Rodgers, Stevie, and SAS made us dream. But Sturridge is no simulacra of King Kenny, Rushie, Aldridge, Fowler, Torres, Luis, Liddell, or Hunt.

No, Studge slots nicely into the number 3 spot of the most prolific strikers in LFC history: ahead of El Pistolero and behind Torres and Aldridge. If one is going to bandy "world class" about, Sturridge is world class. As even the most ardent of transfer rumorers and those-who-view-fandom-through-the-lens-of-FIFA-or-Football-Manager can attest, few true world class strikers exist. And while this author - a CDM by trade - is loath to inflate the ego of any front man, few front men deserve to have their egos stroked as Danny does. In fact, he could even remain at the dinner party and speak of himself in the third person so long as he keeps banging them in when fit. It would bring joy to this writer's heart to see Studge hold a trophy of his head and scream "DANIEL IS THE GREATEST" in his best Ricky Henderson impression.

So, Reds: brace yourselves. Stare into the abyss. And remember: even could we turn Danny into some other less brilliant, but more consistent striker, the latter of the two wise men cited prior also said: [i]f I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever younger and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating as possibility.

As Daniel looks set for a well-deserved start come next round of the Euros, let us bask in this joy of watching a true genius. Let us think of what he might do for us after Klopp proved he could get him fit and we no longer have mid week games thousands of miles away. Let us contemplate how he and Divock might make a partnership. And let us remember the age old question: what the fuck are they smoking over at the Emirates?

Don't even think about it, Ian: