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Part Four: Season Predictions
With another season set to kick off, we sat down to try to predict how 2022-23 will play out in England and Europe. Has this summer’s business pushed Liverpool past Manchester City as Premier League favourites? Are Chelsea still third best? Who’s getting relegated? And who will win the Golden Boot and make a deep run in Europe?
We’ve made our picks, but let us know if you think we’re being reasonable or living in red-tinted delusion—and add your own predictions for posterity in the comments.
Zach
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Arsenal, Tottenham, Chelsea, West Ham, Man United, Newcastle
We’re winning the league and I don’t think it’ll be particularly close. We’ve seen how this group react to narrowly missing out (usually by immediately rectifying that problem). Plus, the mid-season break will help us rest key players (hiya there, Mo) and we’ll likely be sending fewer players away on World Cup duty than City. I believe we go into that break top. And then I think we’ll really start to pull away in the second half of the season.
Also of note: as much as I tried, really tried, to get United out of the top eight, I just couldn’t do it. There simply aren’t enough good teams in the league to push their mediocrity any lower.
Relegation
Everton, Bournemouth, Fulham
To the tune of “Ole’s at the Wheel”: The Ev are going down (going down), the Ev are going down…
FA Cup
Arsenal
They love an FA Cup in Northern London, don’t they? Well, at least one team in North London does.
League Cup
Manchester City
The most expensive squad ever assembled wins the least prestigious trophy.
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Doubt Mo at your own peril.
Champions League
Liverpool
Finally. Number seven.
Europa League
FC Midtjylland
Why not? (Please don’t answer that)
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Dexian
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man United, West Ham, Crystal Palace
City’s squad looks pretty thin at the moment and I’m trying to figure out how to hex an injury crisis onto them. It’s their turn, I don’t make the rules. I also think Chelsea have no goals in them, an aging and injury-prone midfield, and an entire new backline to rebuild, so their former manager will move past them into third. It’s pretty funny how it’s come to this to be honest.
But I still think Thomas Tuchel is a better coach than Mikel Arteta so Chelsea still get fourth ahead of Arsenal. The rest is pretty boring, United improve but not enough. I like West Ham signing Scamacca so I reckon they’ll be sniffing around Europa League again. For eighth, I was leaning towards Newcastle and expect Leicester to continue their Brodgepodge and the good vibes of Brighton’s xG prowess to wean, but I don’t want the oil money to succeed so I’ll go with Palace as the surprise package.
Relegation
Fulham, Bournemouth, Everton
The vibes at Fulham are not great already , so they could go back down. Bournemouth seem bad, too. For the last spot maybe Brentford? They were pretty bad before Eriksen joined, and now he’s gone to United. But I really enjoyed Everton flirting with relegation last season, so maybe we can collectively will it into reality one more time.
FA Cup
Arsenal
League Cup
Manchester City
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Champions League
Barcelona
Europa League
Real Betis
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Noel
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Arsenal, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Man United, Brighton
For all the changes, barring the unexpected it’s still between us and City for first and then three sides fighting for the final two places in the top four. Of those, Chelsea were best last season but Spurs and Arsenal look to have improved more on paper. Behind that group, Erik ten Hag is a good coach but many of United’s problems remain, and Palace were actually sixth best last season based on underlying statistics—so I’m betting on them turning that into points this year. It’s a similar story with picking Brighton ahead of West Ham for me.
Relegation
Southampton, Bournemouth, Fulham
I wish it could be Everton, and it might be. Could be Leeds in for Southampton, too. As for the newly promoted sides, this year’s crop looks about as dead on arrival as any I can recall but Nottingham look like they might be best suited to grinding out just enough to survive.
FA Cup
Manchester City
The sportswashers probably can’t win nothing and should be out of Europe by this stage so they won’t have any distractions.
League Cup
Tottenham
Spurs. Conte. One good year before it all blows up but the top prizes are well out of reach. So. League Cup seems about right.
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Ballon d’Or season incoming.
Champions League
Liverpool
We missed out on this and the league by three halves of football last season. Time to make it right.
Europa League
Arsenal
Europa’s always a crapshoot with teams dropping down, but of the current sides in it they’re comfortably the best and sometimes you just go with the obvious pick.
Gabe
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Chelsea, Arsenal, West Ham, Man United, Brighton
Relegation
Everton, Nottingham Forest, Bournemouth
FA Cup
Chelsea
League Cup
Manchester City
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Champions League
Liverpool
Europa League
A team from Spain
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Mari
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham, Man United, Brighton
Nothing too exciting but I do hope Brighton can edge out United here.
Relegation
Everton, Fulham, Leeds
I am never one to begrudge Fulham their yo-yo identity, though this relies on the age-old question: will Aleksandar Mitrovic be able to score in the Premier League this time?
Everton look in real trouble, both in terms of finances and personnel. The chatter makes it seem like pulling teeth to get players to come to play for them. They lost Richalison. Their manager is not experienced and seems to love assigning responsibility elsewhere. None of this looks good. They’re going to have the best ground in the Championship should their new fella get finished, though.
Bournemouth are the boring choice, but I’ve gone with Leeds to make up the final slot. They concede for fun (had the first GA outside of the bottom three by over 10 goals) and the loss of Phillips is a big one for them. They’re the only fanbase who has ever sent me threatening DMs on Twitter en masse, so I can’t say I’ll miss them, whatever my respect for their fanzines.
FA Cup
West Ham United
I’m trying to be realistic saying we’re winning just the big two.
League Cup
Manchester City
They can have this one, the smallest of the trophies.
Golden Boot
Mo Salah & Erling Håland
Look, unfortunately Håland is going to be very good, there’s no denying it.
Champions League
Liverpool
It’s them Scousers again. After all, we love nothing more than coming back from losing the Champions League to win the Champions League.
Europa League
Arsenal
Though if Chelsea drop out of the Champions League I’ll take them over the Gunners.
Jordan
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal, Man United, Leicester
Relegation
Fulham, Brentford, Everton
FA Cup
Arsenal
League Cup
Chelsea
Golden Boot
Mo Salah & Darwin Nuñez
Champions League
Liverpool
Europa League
Ajax
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Tito
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Arsenal, Man United, Chelsea, West Ham, Newcastle
It should be a battle between Liverpool and City at the top of the league once again this season. They are both in such a different class from the rest. Antonio Conte is a winner and Daniel Levy has done well this summer but I just don’t think the quality compares, but they could get second if a less stacked than usual City squad has a rare down year. Ten Hag will improve a broken side, but I would peg the steady improvement Arsenal has experienced under Mikel Arteta to finally result in a return to the Champions League.
Chelsea, on the other hand, look a shitshow this summer. The number of transfers in and out of the club that are still in the works seem evidence of muddled squad planning and a club struggling with a tumultuous transition. Rounding it out, David Moyes and Eddie Howe are good at their jobs.
Relegation
Nottingham Forest, Leeds, Everton
The prospect of Everton going down last season before their miraculous escape was, in a pitying sort of way, a little sad, and the club is still a mess administratively. They no longer have their talisman in Richarlison, and Frank Lampard riding the vibes and nothing else is probably not going to be enough to keep them up. Elsewhere, Leeds without Raphinha are likely to be in trouble, and as one of the newly-promoted sides is statistically likely to go down I’m going to roll the dice on Forest.
FA Cup
Liverpool
This is mostly because I want Liverpool to push for a treble this year and this one still has a smidge of glamor left.
League Cup
Tottenham
They deserve to win something eventually.
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Controversial, I know. I almost went full hype man and picked Darwin Nunez but I think he’ll likely be integrated slowly this year. Besides, Salah is the best player in the world getting an entire month of rest in the middle of the season, meaning he’ll be set up to tear the league to shreds in the back half.
Champions League
Liverpool
Because, that’s my justification. But if it isn’t us, then Bayern Munich look like they’ve strengthened impressively despite losing Robert Lewnadowski and will have another year to have settled into Julian Naglesmann’s tactical regime.
Europa League
Arsenal
No clue, really. Feels like a bit of a pot shot every year. Big Arteta fan though and think he should expect his young Gunners to take that next step this year.
Audun
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man United, West Ham, Crystal Palace
Relegation
Bournemouth, Leeds, Southampton
FA Cup
Chelsea
League Cup
Arsenal
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
Champions League
Liverpool
Europa League
Juventus
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Will
Top Eight
Liverpool, Man City, Tottenham, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man United, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa
I think the battle between Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal, and United for the last two CL spots will be entertaining and I could see all of them finishing anywhere between 3rd and 6th. Do I honestly expect Villa to get eighth? Not really. Did I make this pick mostly out of hope Stevie will make a big step as a manager? Absolutely.
Relegation
Leeds, Fulham, Everton
Fulham just seem destined to never remain in the Prem, and Leeds were terrible in the second half of last season. I have no idea if Everton will actually get relegated, but they deserve it. It’s just a shame Richarlison isn’t still there, because seeing him get relegated would be very satisfying.
FA Cup
Manchester City
And their fans will find some way to convince themselves the FA Cup is actually the trophy that matters most.
League Cup
Arsenal
They’ll finally get their trophy after all their whining about our Covid issues last year.
Golden Boot
Mohamed Salah
He’s going to score all the goals. All of them.
Champions League
Liverpool
Salah will not be denied again.
Europa League
Manchester City
Seeing them lose the injury lottery in the first half of the season and crash out of their Champions League group would be very funny.
TLO Aggregate Top Eight
1. Liverpool (1)
2. Man City (2)
3. Tottenham (3.4)
4. Chelsea (4.2)
5. Arsenal (4.4)
6. Man United (6.3)
7. West Ham (7.3)
8. Crystal Palace (8.2)
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