The end of Liverpool’s victory and clean sheet against Burnley was slightly marred by the prospect of spending two whole weeks with nothing to talk about except Sadio Mané and how annoyed he was with Mohamed Salah not passing the ball to him during the game.
The rumours of dissent in the camps have already been dismissed, of course, with captain Jordan Henderson immediately addressing any rumours of bad blood after the game.
“Nah, the most important thing was we got the result, Sadio knows that,” Henderson said. “He performed really well again. Him and Bobby were really big [at winning] second balls. He had a fantastic game. Like I said, we want to push each other. We want to improve all the time, I quite like that now and again. I think we need it.”
But is this conclusive statement enough to put to rest all the commentary on the friction between a previously harmonious team? Probably not. Which is why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to provide you with some dialogue that will absolutely resolve any tension that remains. Here’s what we assume happened in the dressing room after the game.
Mané: I really don’t like it when you hold on to the ball and don’t pass it to us when we’re clearly open. Don’t you realise that Manchester City scored 4 this weekend?!
Salah: I’m sorry, friend—because you absolutely are my friend—but I’m under a lot of pressure given all the narratives that float around me and my apparent lack of goals. I’m under a lot of pressure and I’d like to be on the scoresheet more often.
Firmino: Does anyone want an M&M? I’ve got lots.
Mané: Thanks, Bobby. And yes, that makes a lot of sense, Mo. I got carried away during the game. Let’s all hug it out.
Salah: Yes, thanks Bobby. And thanks, Sadio. I love hugs and M&M’s.
So there you have it. Now to twiddle our thumbs and wait for the team to come back for Newcastle on September 14th.