Relationships metaphors are flowing fast and furious this weekend now that Liverpool greats from the past are slowly arriving on Merseyside for the Steven Gerrard Testimonial: Electric Boogaloo this Sunday. If it's not an ex who spurned you because their new love promised much more attention, then it's another who continues to profess his love even when it becomes clear that such declarations have become beyond awkward.
Or maybe it's the one who left quickly, without much notice, at a time when the future was starting to look bright again. One who might have achieved legend status (in your heart!) if not for running off with a bitter enemy. One whose exploits post-breakup made you realise things might have ended just in time for you to escape unscathed. One who's probably stretching the boundaries of this metaphor at this point: his name is Fernando Torres and he's got some things to say about his own relationship-that-never-was with Luis Suarez.
"Of course (I'm looking forward to playing along side Suarez)," the Spaniard said. "I saw what Luis did in his time at Liverpool and it was amazing, just amazing. Luis is a good friend – we have a good relationship and good friendship. We were sitting together for two days at Melwood when I was leaving and he was coming. We made good friends and we are still in touch now.
"I also know what it means to him to go back to Anfield and play there again. It will be great to play up front with him, especially with Stevie G behind us. I’m really looking forward to meeting some of my old team-mates, especially Stevie. I’m sure it’s going to be a great day and night for him."
Hearts in his eyes after only two days of hanging out with Luis Suarez at Melwood four years ago, such is the stuff of legend when it comes to secret friendships no one knew about until now. Liverpool fans have spent unhealthy amounts of time contemplating what the Torres/Suarez partnership might have looked like at Liverpool, and while they're unlikely to get a true idea of it this weekend, such instant chemistry certainly would not have hurt their striking relationship.
"Many times I have been back to Anfield as an opponent, but this time I’m going like part of the home team," Torres continued. "It’s going to be a really emotional day for me. Liverpool fans are part of my heart and my feelings – everything I felt when I was a Liverpool player is inside me and no-one is going to take that away from me.
"If I could do (score), I would celebrate like if I was scoring in a Liverpool shirt. There are many memories, nice memories – great nights, great games, many goals scored in front of the Kop – and they made me feel like I could fly."
Aw. Torres never managed to score against Liverpool while wearing Chelsea blue, but perhaps the trick is that he was only ever meant to score at Anfield for the men in red. He'll get his chance on Sunday, and if he can combine with Luis Suarez to do it, there's little chance the Kop won't go wild.