From the final whistle of the Merseyside Derby on Sunday to the official announcement of Jürgen Klopp as the next manager on Thursday, news has moved at a rapid pace surrounding all the newest developments at Liverpool Football Club. However, this speed is nothing compared to the ludicrous speed at which the club's retail department moved.
Starting yesterday, the club began releasing their Klopp collection. Remember, y'all, only 75 days until Kloppmas, and those LFC Stockings aren't going to fill themselves.
So, I thought I'd save you the trouble and rank the items available from best to worst for your favorite
Kopites Kloppites (or, let's be honest, yourself).
- "The Normal One" Tee-shirt. £15: Just a great shirt. Simple white with red lettering, and an outline of a LFC baseball cap and glasses. Bonus points if you can wear it around a Chelsea
fan supporterfollower. One downside: it's not available in a long-sleeved version yet. It's nearly winter in the northern hemisphere, get with it. Available for pre-order.
- Klopp Jumbo Coffee Mug. £10: A coffee mug worthy of the big German! Why settle for less coffee when you can have more? The mug has everything you could ask for: Klopp's cartoon grinning likeness, LFC logo, "You'll Never Walk Alone," and of course, the color red.
- LFC Men's Redcore Liverbird Klopp Cap. £8: OK, let's get the problems out of the way first: "Mens," really Liverpool? You're going to go there? I thought we jettisoned Warrior for a reason. How about "Adults?" Women, feel free to wear the cap, and probably pull it off better in the process. Also, let's be honest, this isn't a "Klopp" cap so much as it's a Liverpool cap. There's nothing distinctly "Klopp" about it. However, it is a simple, classy number--red, with the LFC logo embroidered on the front in white--and the price is quite reasonable.
- Klopp Mug. £8: It's serviceable, I guess. Same features as the above "jumbo" version, but holds less coffee, which immediately bumps it down the list. It is, however, 2 quid cheaper.
- Klopp Mens Tee-shirt: £15: Again, similar rant to the cap above. Yes, I realize that women's shirts are different than men's, but in that case, where are the women's shirts? There's a kid's option, but no women's? Come on. The shirt features the same cartoon Klopp as the mugs, but with an oddly distracting red circle in the background. Is this supposed to be an anime version of Klopp? Land of the rising Klopp? I don't get it.
- Klopp Pennant. £8: If I were 10-years-old, I might think this is the sort of thing that needs to be on my wall. So, if you have kids, maybe this is for you.
- Klopp Mousemat. £6: So, apparently Brits call mousepads "mousemats." Add it to the list of different words. Anyway, I honestly can't remember the last time I used a mousewhatever. Nor can I remember ever actually buying one. Moreover, I'd kind of feel weird clicking on his face all day, so I'll give this one a pass.