We’ve all now had a day to revel in the hilarity of the European Super League falling flat on its face less than 48 hours after it was announced. I thought it would be fun to continue the revelry by looking at some other famously short-lived things that still managed to last longer than the ESL. So, here are 12 things that outlasted the ESL, one for each of the genius club owners who decided a breakaway league was a good idea.
1. Anne of Cleves’ Reign As Henry The VIII’s wife: 185 Days
Anne of Cleves was the fourth of Henry the VIII’s six wives, and her 185-day reign was the shortest of the bunch by more than a year. Though, she did manage to live for another 17 years after their marriage was annulled, which is pretty good compared to the fates of the rest of Henry’s wives.
2. Nuri Sahin’s Tenure At Liverpool: 142 Days
Nuri Şahin’s highly anticipated loan to Liverpool ended up being a disappointment for everyone involved. When Real Madrid loaned the Turkish midfielder to Liverpool in August 2012, he was just two years removed from winning the German Bundesliga’s player of the season award. Unfortunately, he only made 12 appearances for the Reds and never quite found his form in England. His full-season loan was cut short in mid-January.
3. New Coke: 79 Days
New Coke was Coca-Cola’s 1985 attempt to regain the market share they were losing to Pepsi. It was almost universally reviled, and they were forced to bring back the old formula less than three months later. Though New Coke technically continued to be produced in some form until 2002, it is still remembered for being a huge mistake to this day.
4. The Original XFL: 77 Days
Dreamed up by WWF (now WWE) frontman Vince McMahon, the XFL was a professional American football league that was marketed to be more “extreme” than the NFL. The league never got much traction, mostly due to a lack of big-name talent and lots of injury issues related to the emphasis on rough play. They played just one ten-week season before the league folded. The wrestling guy managed to make a football league of nobodies and play a full season, and the ESL couldn’t even find their last three permanent members before collapsing.
5. Tony Tucker’s Reign As Boxing’s Heavyweight Champion: 64 Days
Ok so maybe this one isn’t “famously short-lived” but it was hard to come up with 12 and it was Mike Tyson who ended his reign so just give me this one okay? Anyway, he fought Tyson despite having a broken hand and was a 10-1 underdog. He lost on a unanimous decision but Sugar Ray Leonard praised him for his performance afterward so that’s cool.
6. The Chevy Chase Show: 39 Days
Chevy Chase’s 1993 attempt at a late-night talk show didn’t go very well. Apparently, he was not a very good host and the crowds were very poorly behaved. The show made it just 29 episodes before it was taken off the air, but it still sounds like more of a success than the ESL.
7. William Henry Harrison’s Presidency: 31 Days
William Henry Harrison is pretty much only remembered for being the shortest-serving United States President. Inaugurated on March 4, 1841, he developed cold-like symptoms on March 26. Instead of going to bed as his doctor advised, he hosted a party for his Army friends that night. Within two days he had developed pneumonia and died. Hopefully, it was at least a good party.
8. Guiseppe Iachini’s Second Stint As Palermo Manager in 2013-14: 25 Days
Guiseppe Iachini was fired as manager of Palermo in November of 2015 and replaced by Davide Ballardini. Ballardini was fired soon after and three other managers were appointed before Iachini was rehired on February 16th, 2016. He lasted just 25 days before being fired again. His replacement was also fired, and then Ballardini came back to finish the season. The whole thing is wild and I highly recommend checking out the history of Palermo managers because that job is basically a revolving door.
9. Napoleon II’s Reign As Emperor Of The French: 16 Days
After Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated at the Battle of Waterloo, he abdicated his throne to his four-year-old son, Napoleon II. He was kinda sorta “Emperor” for 16 days while the French were busy trying to put Louis the XVIII on the throne. Little Napoleon was never even in France during his reign. He spent all 16 days in Austria with his mother.
10. Anthony Scaramucci’s Tenure as White House Communcations Director: 6 Days
Donald Trump’s presidency was well known for a very high amount of turnover, but Scaramucci holds the title for shortest tenured member of the Trump White House, serving for just a quarter of the time that 2nd place Michael Flynn served.
11. Shane Gillis’ SNL Career: 4 Days
Gillis was announced as a new Saturday Night Live cast member on September 12, 2019. Almost immediately people starting drawing attention to his history of using racism and homophobia in his “jokes” and it took just four days for SNL to decide to give him the boot.
12. Britney Spears’ Marriage to Jason Alexander: 56 Hours
While many celebrities are notorious for brief marriages, very few can match the brevity of Britney’s 2004 marriage to her childhood friend. It seems impossible to think that 12 billionaires couldn’t come up with a plan that would outlast a 56-hour celebrity marriage but here we are.
Now let’s hear from you. What are some other hilariously short-lived things that still outlasted the European Super League?