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The Comprehensive Guide to Liverpool Players as Dog Breeds

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If Liverpool players were types of dogs these are the dogs they would be.

Crufts Dog Show - Day One Photo by Joe Giddens/PA Images via Getty Images

There’s still no football, and while we’re hopeful of seeing the game return behind closed doors in June, we’re not entirely convinced that’s going to be possible despite the seeming determination of all involved to make it happen.

Plus, even if it does happen, we’ve got another month or so of this. No football. And we’ve got to talk about something. So today we’re going to tell you which breeds of dogs Liverpool players would be. If they were breeds of dogs.

Spoiler: they’re all good dogs.


Jordan Henderson / Labrador Retriever

Is the breed underrated now? Overrated? The best dog in the world? A bit of a jack of all trades? We have no idea, but we do know it’s smart and loyal and will chase a ball until it collapses.


Sadio Mané / Border Collie

One of the most intelligent dogs on the planet but too often people to want to focus on its pace and power as arguably the world’s premier herding dog. Though as a herding dog, its eagerness to do its job can lead to it nipping children or Man City goalkeepers.


Virgil van Dijk / Dutch Shepherd

It’s a bit like a German Shepherd but Dutch instead.


Gini Wijnaldum / Cane Corso

A personal protection and tracking breed, the Cane Corso cuts an imposing physical figure and you would definitely struggle to push your way past if for some reason it decided to block you off with its muscular ass.


Joël Matip / Irish Wolfhound

You thought this was going to be a Great Dane but the Irish Wolfhound is actually 2cm taller on average. So.


Mohamed Salah / Standard Poodle

Consistently ranks as one of the most intelligent and skillful dogs on the planet, known in particular for its agility, obedience, and tracking ability yet often not given the full credit it’s due by a wider public who see it as more of a show dog. Has really curly hair.


Dejan Lovren / Boxer

Your best brate. Might be a bit of an idiot.


James Milner / Yorkshire Terrier

One of the longest-lived breeds with a life expectancy of 16 years. Also, you know, it’s from Yorkshire. Sorry, James.


Xherdan Shaqiri / Pembroke Welsh Corgi

The better known of the two breeds of Corgi, the Pembroke is one of the smallest herding dogs, notable for a low centre of gravity and wide frame. Just look how cute it is all low to the ground like that. Way more adorable than it has any right to be.