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A Scientific Assessment Of Liverpool Players As Sea Creatures

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There are no games and little news, so what else are we going to do with our time during the coronavirus pandemic?

Panamic Green Moray Eel, Gymnothorax castaneus, San Benedicto, Revillagigedo Islands, Mexico Photo by Reinhard Dirscherl/ullstein bild via Getty Images

We could all use some levity these days. And when things were darkest for Liverpool out on the pitch, way back circa 2012, we got one of the most memorable posts ever for the site, and one that helped brighten the mood for many. So in that vein, I give you my entirely scientific assessment of Liverpool players as sea creatures. Because why not.


Virgil van Dijk / Giant Squid

Massive, and extremely rare. These colossus of the deep are believed to be fearsome predators. The stuff of legends.

Architeuthis in National Museum of Natural Sciences of Spain
Architeuthis in National Museum of Natural Sciences of Spain
Wikepedia Commons

Joe Gomez / Cuttlefish

A smaller squid, but known to be lightning fast. Cuttlefish move fastest when moving backwards, just like JoeGo getting back to cover an attack.

KUWAIT-ANIMAL-AQUARIUM Photo credit should read YASSER AL-ZAYYAT/AFP via Getty Images

Fabinho / Green Moray Eel

Not the easiest on the eyes at first, these eels are very protective of their lairs tucked in amongst the corals and rocks. When they come out, however, there is a languid grace to their movements.

Green moray looking out of coral cave Gymnothorax funebris Curacao, Netherlands Antilles Digital Photo (horizontal) Photo by Wild Horizons/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Naby Keita / Box Jellyfish

Small, deadly in tight spaces. They are also quite fragile.

CSM Photo Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/The Christian Science Monitor via Getty Images

Roberto Firmino / Parrotfish

The first thing you notice are the teeth. Parrotfish are the ultimate grinders, literally grinding away at corals. Fantastic work rate. While hard workers, they are also quite colorful and flashy.

Our World Photo by: David Fleetham/VW PICS/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Sadio Mane / Clymene Dolphin

Also known as the Senegal Dolphin, these small but robust creatures are extremely intelligent and acrobatic.

Clymene Dolphin
Clymene Dolphin
IUCN

Mohamed Salah / Mako Shark

The fastest shark species, reaching speeds up to 46 mph/74 kmh. These sharks are high volume eaters.

Mako shark Photo by: Mark Conlin/VW PICS/UIG via Getty Image

Dejan Lovren / Remora

Best brates with sharks, these fish attach themselves to sharks and eat parasites and dead skin.

Whale shark (Rhincodon types) and remora’s. Photo by: Steve De Neef/VW Pics/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

James Milner / Coelacanth

Known as a living fossil, these fish are the ultimate survivors. Nothing flashy about them, they just get the job done.

Rare prehistoric fish previously believed to be extinct Considered to be the missing link between fish and tetrapod Photo by Hoberman Collection/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Andrew Robertson / Sea Otter

These social and gregarious creatures are always fan favorites. A warning to Lionel Messi - sea otters are tough and known to be shithousers.

Sea otter Photo by: Francois Gohier/VW Pics/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Jordan Henderson / Emperor Penguin

These hardy penguins cover a massive amount of both land and sea. Scientists were amazed at how well they moved on land despite their weird gait. These hard-working creatures are all about teamwork within their family unit and their colony.

Manchots empereurs en Antarctique Photo by Francois LOCHON/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

Trent Alexander-Arnold / Pistol Shrimp

These little guys are known as the “gunslingers of the ocean”. The shrimp hunt by accurately shooting bubbles at high velocity at their prey.

Pistol Shrimp shooting bubbles
Pistol Shrimp
Earth Unplugged

Gini Wijnaldum / Puffer Fish

Great smile. When the pufferfish decides, it’s impossible to get around them

pufferfish
pufferfish
Fine Art America