It’s the morning of August 5th 2019 and Liverpool Sporting Director Michael is sitting in club owner, John Henry’s office, anxiously waiting along with the American businessman for the final attendee of their impromptu meeting to arrive. The individual finally makes an appearance as manager, Jürgen Klopp knocks before strolling into the room, humming a happy tune to himself as he always seems to be doing. Like all the time.
Michael Edwards: Thanks for coming Jürgen. Take a seat, we have some big news: we’ve made the decision to sell Simon Mignolet to Clube Brugge.
Jürgen Klopp: Who?
Edwards: Simon Mignolet? As in our now-former backup goalkeeper?
Klopp: Oh you mean Waffles! Scheiße! Well that sucks. Wait, so who is my backup keeper now?
John Henry: Don’t worry, Jürgen. Mike and I were doing our daily deep dive into the transfer rumors and have taken their advice to sign a great new option in ex-West Ham keeper, Adrián.
(Klopp leaps to his feet and fist pumps vigorously)
Klopp: That’s so exciting! I have been trying to speak him for years but no one would give me his phone number.
Edwards: For years? Why would you—please explain.
Klopp: You see, in Germany we don’t have too many people with a name like this and there is a joke I have been saving forever to tell him. When does he get here? I can’t wait to tell him the joke; he’s going to think it’s so funny.
(Initially confused, realization begins to dawn on John Henry)
Henry: No Jürgen, under no circumstances are you to tell Adrián any jokes.
Edwards: You guys, I’m not sure I’m following what’s going on—
Klopp: Can I say it just one time? You have to let me say it at least once.
Henry: NO. It’s not even that funny. Actually, maybe it is funny, but under no circumstances are you to make this joke to our newest signing. Do you promise?
Klopp: Fine, I won’t tell Adrián my totally awesome joke.
Henry: Thank God.
Edwards: Yeah thank God. I think.
Klopp: …under one condition: I get to say it just one time after I win my first trophy this season.
Henry: I mean…sure Jürgen. Win a trophy and you can say your joke, preferably somewhere quiet—
(Klopp immediately springs out of his chair and heads for the door)
Klopp: Neato! Well I’ll leave you two to it. I have trophies that need winning and jokes that need telling.
Edwards: I’m sorry, what just happened?
Henry: To be fair, we probably should’ve seen that coming.
Klopp: *yelling from down the hall* ADRIAAAAAAAN
Edwards: Oh. Ohhhhhh.