The Week in Search Terms: Liverpool FC’s Enemies

People find their way to TLO using all kinds of search terms. Some of them can seem a little strange, unusual, or just in need of an answer. Others seem to have nothing at all to do with Liverpool. Occasionally they’re borderline workplace-appropriate. Here are a few of them.

I mean that’s an oddly specific thing to search for but yes, yes they did.

All of them? I mean, that’s really the only way I can make sense of everyone suddenly wanting Manchester City, an oil rich, financial-doping PR front for a state with a pretty staggering record of human rights abuses, to buy themselves another title.

Honestly, though, I kind of get it? I mean, Manchester United don’t want us getting back on our fucking perch and Everton are Everton and it makes Spurs fans’ blood boil that despite finishing ahead of us for the past million seasons or whatever it’s been they’re still seen as a smaller club than us and then Liverpool have their whole “we’re not English we’re Scouse” deal which probably rubs a lot of fans of smaller clubs that live and breathe the national team the wrong way and there’s probably some other stuff, too.

Liverpool fans would want to see City beat United and Spurs and... well, not Everton because they’ll never be in a title race but we’d want to see City beat those other two if they were in it. So it’s only fair they want us to slip up again. And Chelsea probably think City are a top four lock whatever happens whereas us winning might make it harder for them to get back into the top four long-term.

Which leaves, maybe, Arsenal as a club with enough history to not feel threatened by us looking like we’re back to being good and a natural disdain for City’s big spending ways? So. Of all the big English clubs, they’re probably the least enemy-ish. And there’s always Newcastle. As long as they have Rafa, Newcastle are alright.

He’d never vote for the right.

1. Virgil van Dijk
2. Virgil van Dijk
3. Virgil van Dijk
4. Virgil van Dijk
5. Virgil van Dijk

It’s when you train at doing certain things in order to develop your ability to do said things.

Not gonna lie, I’m a little impressed somebody dug deep enough into the search results to get to us just by sticking “the” into the Googlebox.

I mean, seriously, nobody seems to be quite sure what’s going on there. At least outside the club. We’re assuming Jürgen Klopp & co. have an inkling. Still, if we were forced to choose between rumours of a bad attitude on one had or a lingering groin injury on the other, we’re pretty comfortable saying it has to be the lingering groin strain that’s kept him stuck on the bench the past couple of months, where he’s looked far more upbeat then you’d expect if he had in fact been frozen out because Klopp was unhappy about something.

Liverpool FC via Getty Images

Wait, was that not what you meant?

I suppose a few fringe Twitter moaners will always harbour resentment towards him for what happened in last year’s Champions League final, but I’d say there’s nothing to forgive and hasn’t been since it became clear he suffered a serious concussion during the match.

It can be hard for anyone who hasn’t gone through that to really understand the kind of impact that sort of injury can have on your awareness and decision making. And more than that, even, if an athlete tries their best and comes up short—for whatever reason—is there actually even any wrong in that that needs to be forgiven?

People try. People fail. For any number of reasons. Liverpool were right to move on from Karius, but as much as trying your best and failing sucks—while concussed, no less—well, sometimes that’s just life and sometimes life sucks, even for a sexy ‘keeperbot. If you want a Liverpool goalkeeper who needs to beg Liverpool fans for their forgiveness, go see Charles Itandje.

Zinedine Zidane will not be managing Liverpool Football Club next season. There. Done. Glad we could do our part helping put that rumour to bed.

I mean, it’s more likely than Zidane managing Liverpool next year so...