Your Latest Liverpool Conspiracy: Divock Origi is a Vampire

It’s hard not to love Divock Origi (well for Liverpool fans at least, Barcelona and Everton fans might disagree). His goal scoring record is as baffling as it is unpredictable. He is an enigma who routinely defies expectations. He has never scored a great number of goals, but he has regularly popped up to score big ones.

Of his 7 goals last year, three were in the Champions League semifinal and final, and two were last-gasp winners in the Premier League. That’s quite the return.

Since joining Liverpool in 2015, he only has 33 goals, total. And yet, he has scored for Liverpool on every single day of the week, a feat that at least seams mathematically improbable.

James Milner, in his new book Ask a Footballer, describes him as one of the most laid back dudes ever. Some have pointed to this innate inner Dudeness as the reason for his ability to calmly put the ball in the back of the net at the biggest moments, in the biggest matches, when everyone else’s heads have gone.

And yet, last night another theory was floated around Liverpool Twitter: Origi is actually a vampire.

First of all, let’s just take a moment to appreciate that someone, somewhere, has a spread sheet listing all the goals scored by Liverpool players at day and at night.

Secondly, vampires don’t actually exist. Though, this stat certainly tests that fact.

If he’s not a vampire, perhaps he is at the very least nocturnal. This return—a goal or assist every 58 minutes under the lights—is too much of a regular occurrence to be wholly ignored.

Or, the science textbooks are wrong. Vampires are real. And Divock Origi is actually Blade incarnate. And instead of feasting on blood, he feasts on goals and Barcelona tears.

Either way, perhaps Origi should get the start for our next proper night game: away to Salzburg to decide Group E in the Champions League.