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The Summer in Liverpool Search Terms: Shaqiri Muscle

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These are some of the ways people found their way to TLO this summer. Strap in, it’s going to get a little weird.

Liverpool FC via Getty Images

People find their way to TLO using all kinds of search terms. Some of them can seem a little strange, unusual, or just in need of an answer. Others seem to have nothing at all to do with Liverpool. Occasionally they’re borderline workplace-appropriate. Here are a few of them.


Pretty good?

Well, maybe? See above.

Oh we love your baldy head, oh we love your baldy head
your baldy head, your baldy head
you’re Dejan Lovren, you’re Dejan Lovren… wait, what?

Like, are we talking about somebody who’s constantly misplacing their shit and can’t find it or are we talking about somebody who actively hides things so that others can’t find them? Because both could probably be called definders. So. Yeah. Get back to us on that one.

Due to unforeseen technical difficulties we haven’t got our Salah pictures mobile site up running yet but hope to before the Champions League group stages kick off in September.

What is the phrase every asshole on Twitter who sends abuse to our players has in their bio, Alex?

Liverpool FC via Getty Images

This seems like an exceptionally unlikely Mad Libs set up but like maybe Shaqiri’s trying to convince Moreno it’s alright to put protein isolate in his sangria? Though we kind of assume every conversation Shaqiri’s ever had, one way or another, comes back to protein isolate in the end.

Fuck that guy.

First Bigfoot and now this? Well, I mean, I’m honestly not sure I’m on board with calling a country sexy or even how that works in practice. Like are we pulling the shades, opening a dusty old atlas, and saying, right, Germany here is clearly sexier than Mongolia oh baby look at the curves of the Thuringia region those really get me going? Or are we talking, like, a furry thing only with people dressing up as nation-states and having orgies? Actually, never mind. Live life, do you, and as long as we’re talking about consenting adults TLO doesn’t kink shame.

He’s a very thicc boi with very thicc calves.

Given we’ve already covered his calves I’ll assume you’re asking about his iliac furrow. Also known as Adonis’ Belt, Aphrodite’s Saddle, and a whole whack of other things that seem to fit with today’s theme. And if you don’t know what that is you probably don’t want to Google it at work but, I mean, this on Shaqiri’s Shaqiri Muscle will probably give you an idea what’s what and might even be work safe? Maybe?

Okay that’s just taking things too far and maybe we do kink shame a little. We can deal with bigfoot erotica and people dressed up as countries boning and whatever the hell’s going on with our network-wide and admittedly kinda creepy obsession with Shaqiri’s thiccness but nothing about snakes is sexy I mean I’m sorry you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.

Um…

The safest way to thaw any meat is in the fridge overnight, but if you don’t have the time to do that the best option is to place the chicken under slowly running cold water. This will both thaw it more quickly than leaving it to sit at room temperature and it will avoid having any of the thawed, outer portion of the chicken reach a temperature where bacteria can develop while the centre is still frozen.