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Breaking News: James Milner Has Joined Twitter

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Liverpool v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League
“I’ll have to have a word with the kit man. The ball’s aren’t being pumped to the specifications I taught him.”
Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

When They© tell you old dogs and new tricks aren’t compatible, just show them the 2018 edition of James Phillip Milner.

Renown the world over for being a bit on the humdrum side, the Liverpool vice-captain has appeared to move into a new phase of life this term, from taking the crown as Europe’s Assist King to a late career shift to a midfield destroyer role. All which has now culminated in the most shocking development of all: a live account on Twitter.

Yes, that is in fact James Milner, millionaire footballer, ironing in his spare time. Tongue in cheek, of course, as the 32-year-old has always embraced the pop culture gold that has sprung up around his boring James Milner persona—specifically the Boring James Milner Twitter account that would now appear to be redundant.

Fortunately, the two James’ look to be attempting to live in peaceful coexistence, which is probably the best for us all.