Philippe Coutinho Set For Anfield Return—For An International Friendly

You know that Jedi mind trick you can use on yourself where you flip a coin when you have a decision to make? The twist is to assign choices to heads or tails as usual, but to then assess your gut’s immediate reaction to the 50/50 outcome. The “right” choice is usually to go with the option that aligns with either the sigh of relief or the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

So, use the same trick to analyze your reaction to the first half of that headline “Philippe Coutinho Set for Anfield Return.” How did it make you feel? Elated or irate? Ashamed at the speed with which you brought out the lumber for repairing burned bridges, or did the petty begin to rise within you like bile?

Maybe it’s still too soon to voluntarily relive the trauma of that most acrimonious of breakups. Then again, maybe we should all re-evaluate whether the activities and happenings involving an inflated rubber ball encased in a polyester-cotton blend should have such a disproportionate effect on the balance of our happiness.

Discontent, the unfortunate result of the conflation of happiness—feelings of euphoria associated with fleeting moments, with joy—a contentment and satisfaction with one’s lot irrespective of circumstance, is at the root of many a social ill. It’s probably why there’s a reality TV star as president.

Anyway. Philippe Coutinho’s coming back to Liverpool for a day. Brazil and Crotia are anticipating wanting to warm up/flirt with unnecessary injury prior to the upcoming World Cup, and Croatian Red, Dejan Lovren is said to be lobbying to have the June 3 match take place at Anfield.

Tickets are projected to sell out as 55,000-odd Liverpudlians pack the stadium to make googly eyes at Brazil no 1. Alisson Becker. Neymar will be there and will probably do something diva-ish.

...*Sigh*. Yo Naby Keïta, you wanna come out here?