[INSERT RIDICULOUS POSSESSION STAT]
[INSERT ANOTHER STAT ABOUT LUDICROUSLY HIGH SHOT NUMBERS]
[WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT “ANOTHER DOMINANT PERFORMANCE”].
Rinse and repeat. Might as well at this point after another commanding yet wasteful performance by Jürgen Klopp’s side.
This time, the Reds somehow managed to exit the Otkrytiye Arena without a win, converting one sole chance out of 16 to finish 1-1 to Spartak Moscow for their second consecutive Champions League draw.
Their hosts made sure to tick all the boxes required for a disappointing Liverpool result: received “heroic” performances from—not one, but two (two!)—of their goalkeepers (check); parked parked all 11 men behind the ball (check); and scored on a set piece (check) at a shot conversion rate four times their opponents (check and check).
The half time shot map.— Andrew Beasley (@BassTunedToRed) September 26, 2017
Liverpool FC, ladies and gentlemen. pic.twitter.com/xsDLoVi6eV
The key on this occasion was the finishing, captain Jordan Henderson lamented following the game:
“It's disappointing. We controlled the game from start to finish so we should win it comfortably,” Henderson said. "We have got to make sure we don’t give goals away first and foremost.
“I thought we defended well for the majority of the game,” the Englishman continued. “But we have to finish the game off and be more ruthless."
"On another day it could have been three or four. The performance was decent but not enough to win the game.”
Klopp was more blunt in his assessment, “To create all those chances and only score one goal feels average.”
The sharing of points represents a sputtering start to Liverpool’s new "Fab Four" as Klopp’s side sit a precarious second in the Champions League group table with two points, ahead of the same Spartak by mere goals scored after drawing with Sevilla on Matchday 1.
[SIGN OFF WITH NERVOUS FALSELY-POSITIVE STATEMENT ABOUT “NEEDING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT SOON”].