Hope Springs Eternal, As Another Season Dawns

Even for the most Everything’s The Worst among us, it’s hard not to be a little (or very) optimistic and excited before the first match of the season. We are all undefeated, and every piece of silverware is up for grabs.

So we didn’t get Naby Keïta from Energy Drink Billboard FC. Boo-hoo. And Virgil van Dijk is still unresolved. Doesn’t matter. We’ll get them both, eventually.

More importantly, we have Jürgen Norbert Klopp. He took a team that Brendan Rodgers couldn’t keep in the top half of the table to two cup finals in his first year. He took Borussia Dortmund back to glory and a Champions League final to boot, and it’s only a matter of time before he does the same. This guy has built a career of getting more out of less, and if you haven’t noticed, this squad is damned good.

We also have Philippe Coutinho, Roberto Firmino, Mohamed Salah, and Sadio Mane, all of whom will be entering the prime of their career. You like goals? You’re going to see ALL THE GOALZ. And yes, we’ll have our Little Magician because Barcelona can fuck right off.

And on defense? Brothers and sisters, we’ve already seen the glory of the Lovrenaissance, get ready to see the Albi Morenaissance. And then when Van Dijk finally arrives from our farm team down south? Get ready to see some set piece dominance on both sides of the pitch.

What’s that? I’m drinking the Kool Aid? Damned right I’m drinking the Kool Aid, and you know what? It’s RED.

“But, but, but...” I hear you out there. The excuse brigade. Stop listening to Steve Nicol, and start listening to me.

“But what about Manchester United?” Please. Jose Mourinho has lost his touch. He took the most expensive team in history and finished sixth in the league. He crashed and burned at Chelsea, and his less than merry band of mercenaries will turn on him again.

“But what about Everton? They’ve signed lots of players...” Yes, they’ve signed a lot of average players. We know all too well how that turns out.

“But what about European football?” Come on. Klopp thrives in Europe, and no one gets his players up for a big game like Kloppo. I’m not saying we’re going to win the Champions League, but I also wouldn’t bet against a deep run.

“But what about low-block teams that park the bus against us?” You mean like Manchester United? Let them defend, we’re in the business of dominating games and scoring goals. They should be scared to come out and play with us.

We’re in for some great things this season, and some really exciting football. And I can’t wait for the start of the season. The start of every journey begins with the first step, and that first step is against Watford. Bring ‘em on.