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Nivea Inexplicably Kills Milner in New Ad

Apparently Nivea Men can protect you from anything except death-by-Godzilla.

Watford v Liverpool - Premier League Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

If you haven’t seen the new Nivea advert yet, you should.

The premise is as follows: Nathaniel Clyne, Roberto Firmino, and James Milner walk into a locker room. They use their respective Nivea products to their hearts’ contents. They walk out of Anfield, fist-bump Steven Gerrard who’s on his way in, and then Milner (whose license plate is M1LN3R) gets crushed by a Godzilla-like monster.

It isn’t explained if the monster was drawn to Anfield because of a particular scent Nivea Men exudes, or if it was the license plate that it specifically objected to. Either way, Milner and his car are crushed, and Liverpool presumably need to think about who exactly they could make a bid for in the summer transfer window to replace him.

Nivea was also kind enough to chat with Clyne, Firmino, and Milner and get their views on who the vainest member of the squad is.

“It’s hard to narrow it down to one to be honest,” Milner said. “There’s quite a battle in the dressing room sometimes for the mirror and hairdryer and things like that, so it’d be difficult to name just one.”

Clyne and Firmino were less diplomatic.

“I’ll go with Emre [Can] because he’s always in the mirror fixing his hair and stuff,” Clyne said. Firmino very simply picked Loris Karius.

Not entirely sure Nivea meant to create further problems with Liverpool’s back four before the last game of the season, but Milner may want to avoid their products until Sunday at least.

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