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Dortmund Exit Unlikely For Pulisic

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According to the teenage sensation’s father, Christian Pulisic is happy to stay with Die Schwarzgelben.

AFC Sunderland  v Borussia Dortmund  - Friendly Match
Talk to the hand, Liverpool. (Is he old enough to get that reference? Probably not).
Photo by Deniz Calagan/Getty Images

Good morning, Liverpool supporters! Happy Transfermas. If you thought I was coming over with a carefully wrapped present, fresh bagels, and coffee you’re sadly mistaken. It’s more like, how do I put this? I backed over your cat? Also that coffee smells great, can I have a cup?

As we already know, Liverpool’s £11 million bid was not enough to persuade Dortmund to sell their 17-year-old American starlet Christian Pulisic. Now, it appears the young attacking midfielder will not be making a move to Anfield—or anywhere else for that matter—instead choosing to stay within the warm, slightly psychotic, confines of Westfalenstadion.

This news comes courtesy of the German publication Bild, who took time out of their busy schedule of publishing naked photos of women to conduct an interview with Christian’s father, Mark Pulisic.

“Christian has no interest in leaving the club,” the senior Pulisic said. “He had a good half year last season, and wants to continue to break through.”

Well, that’s disappointing. Looks like our American TLO cohort can put away all your U.S.A. gifs and photos of Teddy Roosevelt shooting Sasquatch with a minigun. Don’t worry, this rumor is sure to resurface in the winter (and every subsequent transfer window from now until forever).

Even with Klopp at the helm of Liverpool, it is easy to understand why Mark and/or Christian would like to stay at Dortmund. The club has handled his development very well so far, and more than a few would-be stars have seen their careers derailed by a poor move early in their career.