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The Week in Search Terms: Shocking Liverpool News

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People find their way to TLO using all kinds of search terms. These are a few of them.

Soccer Fans Watch World Cup Opening Match In New York City Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images

liverpool full furniture in pre-season

Well, at least a chair or couch or something. Maybe one of those amorphous beanbag things if you’re in a pinch. Because, I mean, you have to sit somewhere, yeah? The coffee table can probably wait until Arsenal, though, so if you haven’t got one in yet deep breaths and it probably doesn’t mean you’re not a real fan.

manchester united news

Manchester United are the worst and Jose Mourinho has a shrine to Margaret Thatcher in his bedroom and Wayne Rooney is a potato in both the physical and tactical sense. There, all the United news you’ll ever need. You’re welcome.

did jurgen klopp insert buy back clauses for jordon ibe and brand smith when they moved to bournemouth

Yes.

are fsg good for liverpool

Yes.

romanshot

Roman Abramovic is not hot, but that probably doesn’t mean you should shoot him, Ashley.

shocking news

Manchester United are still the worst.

news on jonas hector

Liverpool probably aren’t signing him but hey you never know.

jonas hector to liverpool

Well, I mean, it could happen. But there’s a decent chance his agent is leaking Liverpool’s name to get him a better contract at FC Köln.

liverpool cant afford hector

Well, look, they could. If they wanted to buy him. The club have £70M plus sales to work with this summer and are likely to end up with something very close to a neutral net spend if they find new homes for Christian Benteke and Mario Balotelli and don’t bring anyone else in. So they can certainly afford to spend £20M or €20M or 20-whatever-currency-million on Jonas Hector.

If Klopp wanted him, they absolutely could. The money is there. As it was when Klopp decided he wanted Sadio Mané and the club paid £34M for him. Which many of the same fans who are now complaining about the club not paying £20M to bring in Hector complained then was over the odds. Because with some people you really can never win. So. Anyhow. The money is there.

Either Klopp doesn’t think Hector is worth £20M or—and this is at least equally likely if not more so—Klopp isn’t especially interested in bringing in a left back to compete with Alberto Moreno, who the manager appears to rate more than many fans do. After all, Ben Chilwell was never meant to arrive to challenge for the starting job. At least not straight away.

jonas hector transfer news

news on jonas hector

Alright, fine, Liverpool can’t afford him. Probably because FSG are evil. Are you happy now?

kate winslet

Draw me like one of your Titanic girls.