In all the commotion over the possibly departure of one high-wage, surplus-goods striker, Christian Benteke, we have hardly had time to dream up possible destinations for our other high-wage, surplus-goods striker, Mario Balotelli. However, not even in the most intense fever dream would the most rumor mongering of rumor mongers imagine linking Balotelli to Manchester United.
Indeed, that is still a bridge too far. Who knows when or if the 52-year (and counting) streak of zero transfers between the two clubs will come to an end, but Super Mario almost certainly won’t be the player to do it.
No, this rumor isn’t that crazy. Instead, the Italian online outlet Calciomercato is reporting that Balotelli met up with Jose Mourinho to discuss how the Italian striker could possibly rehabilitate his career.
There are more than a few reasons to think that this is merely wild speculation, and a cynical attempt to shoehorn two of the biggest names in world football into a click-baity story. Even if Mourinho felt some sense of duty to help a former player (as “uncoachable” as he might be), it seems unlikely that the Portuguese manager would take time away from his busy schedule of managing Manchester United and presumably feasting off the blood of infants to help out the want-away striker.
Whether Balotelli has enlisted the help of Mourinho or not, we hope he can get a move away before the end of the transfer window. At this point he should take any help he can get. Balotelli’s most recent hope was dashed when Ajax backed away from a bid despite previous interest.