The Week in Comments: "When I grow up I want to be Klopp instead of a firetruck"

Dortmund Manager Worried “We’re Reaching Our Limit” Ahead of Liverpool Tie

I get it. But you’ll get no sympathy from me Tuechel. Y’all have played 48 matches with what I believe has been a fairly healthy side all year, while we are more like the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I’ll give you the tiredness and fixture congestion, but we are on manager #2 this season, made a fairly deep run in one domestic cup, the final in the other, and we’re losing players left and right thanks to injury. Tuechel, you just got Gundogan, Sokratis, and Hummels back; You also had a mid season break in December. We’ve just lost our captain for the rest of the season, we’ve got 2 promising players out with blown acl’s, Our 3rd/4th choice striker is out, and we’re slowly getting players back; What I’m trying to say is despite all of this, despite all of this we are starting to peak right now. This right here, the final stretch run heading towards the final on 18 May 2016, this is what we are after and no amount of fixture congestion, injuries, or other ticky-tack junk is going to stop us. The only way we will be stopped is through a catastrophic meltdown of our own doing, or a perfectly flawless game by you and your men. Am I Nervous? You bet I am, but I for one, I’m looking forward to it.

— Cleveland Sasquatch

Travelling Dortmund Support to Honour Hillsborough Victims at Anfield

man i love this tie so much, can liverpool and dortmund just do their own super league until the rest of the world is ready to join them in this wonderful space

— Ed

Liverpool 4, Dortmund 3 (5-4 agg): First thoughts

Dejan Fucking Lovren
Signing the best comeback for a footballing career at Liverpool.
From mostest worsest to fucking hero!

— Lucashino

Our neighbors probably thought I was being murdered. Possible point of concern: no cops showed up.

— Liveryank

BREAKING NEWS FLASH!
THE CAT HAS BEEN FOUND!!!
She was hiding under the kitchen units, how she got in there I’ll never know.
Wife still furious.
I think I’ll watch the semis in the pub.

— Liberecak

Liverpool 4, Dortmund 3 (5-4 agg): Reds Complete Stunning Comeback

Change of Plans
When I grow up I want to be Klopp instead of a firetruck.

— Boom Owl

Spoiler text here

— Sgt McClay

Liverpool Appoint New Fitness Coach

aj.joven.7: Damn...was really hoping Ian read TLO and would appoint Khaine. Sorry, dude.

Emre's Brylcreem: Can't believe y'all made Khaine write about it

Ken Mueller: Where are the stats Khaine!? I wanna see some hamstring pulls per minute played comparisons or sumsuch

ITStheGP: ah yes, the ol' xH metric

Liverpool 4, Dortmund 3 (5-4 agg): First thoughts

i just realized that all this shit we talk about european nights at anfield must have felt wildly flat for anyone who came on board post rafa. or even rafa’s last year where the wheels came off. this is it, btw. this is definitely it. the way the crowd exploded more, and more, and more with each goal, until its just chaos on the lovren goal. i mean. welcome back to yerself, liverpool. how we’ve missed you!

— latortillablanca

(via ITStheGP)

• Welcome to delurkers Anfield Rapscallion, monkeyklawz, Upscale Pie, Felipe García Fossa, TexasRED8, Webster the Red, nosleephow, Emre's Hair Stylist, das kloppenspiel, and probably a ton more I missed. Apologies if I missed anyone!
• Ken Mueller's got a new stats metric for keepers.
• Filet Mignolet wrote about the story only football could write.
• campion had some thoughts on Sergi Canos.

If it's not on this list, what was your favourite comment (not made by you!) this week?