The Week in Comments: "Kolo to BrØndby?"

Skrtel Fit and Ready to Face Swansea Following Injury Scare

Turns out it wasn’t a concussion, the wiring in the T-800 unit’s cortex just blew a fuse. Quick fix.

— nihil in moderato

Some say...
That he was forged in the same fires as the Nokia...
That sharks brag to each other about his bites...
And when strikers go to sleep at night, they check under the bed for him...
All we know is, he’s called the Skrtel.

— Nes011

Liverpool Youngster Barred From Playing by FIFA

So... I read this as youngster barred from playing FIFA. As in, something like, due to regularly daily tournaments on the PlayStation distracting fringe first-teamer Jose Enrique from training properly, Rafa Paez has been restricted to Candy Crush, or something.

This is decidedly less silly but equally believable.

— Rory James

William Carvalho a Priority for Brendan Rodgers?

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
or should I say, please and thank you

— ejbauer

Ayre: Liverpool Increasing Number of Performance-based Contracts

idk i'm still waiting for smoothsailing here.

— she is a god

Rumour Mongering: Liverpool Set to Beat Tottenham and Manchester United to Dutch Forward

Is he worth what we would have Depay for him?

— Roger the Shrubber

Shocker: Luis Suarez left for Barcelona because of the English media

Wow, this balotelli guy is really troublesome

— GunSaladin

Match-Fit Gerrard Eyes FA Cup and Top Four Finish

I’m so glad Stevie isn’t eyeing an FA Cup exit to Blackburn and a mid-table finish.

— kingofzachland

Rumour Mongering: Your Arda Turan Rumour of the Week

Dear Rumour Mongers
You’re going to have to work a bit Arda in order Turan this particular story with any credibility.

— saintgrobian

Kolo Toure Offered Extension, but is Considering His Options

Kolo to BrØndby?

— Ian9

So many one-liners this week! Also this whole Bohemian Rhapsody thread.

Rumour Mongering: Liverpool Preparing Alves Pre-Contract

if i'm reading the tea leaves correctly, he’s a shoe-in for a 150k/week contract, which will actually only pay out 50k after he misses all his performance escalators, which won’t actually matter since Eibar will fuggup his registration, leaving him to sign on to Flamengo for 6 months until the winter transfer window rolls around, when we have to pay Flamengo a loan fee to get him back in Red for a month until his hammy goes, sits out the rest of the year, and ultimately gets loaned out to a series of italian clubs throughout the remainder of his contract in a futile attempt to recoup some value on what initially seemed like a free transfer.

— latortillablanca

An oldie but a goodie. (via CakeBoss369)

• Total commenters: 174
• Total comments: 1973
• Total recs (lenient or otherwise): 2577
• Total green comments: 201

• Welcome to anyone who delurked this week!
• jeremy.wyenberg wants to know about St.Patrick's Day meal ideas.

If it's not on this list, what was your favourite comment (not made by you!) this week?