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Christmas Shopping For Kopites

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Last month, Liverpool were quick to try to capitalize on "The Normal One." Here at TLO, we were equally quick to mock them for it. Now, we take a good look at LFC's Christmas line.

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Don't worry, Santa, we already have a naughty and nice list prepared for you.
Don't worry, Santa, we already have a naughty and nice list prepared for you.
Alex Livesey/Getty Images

It's Thanksgiving in America (enjoy some pie for me, y'all), and with it comes the traditional start of the holiday shopping season. For those of you who look at your Christmas tree/Hanukkah bush/Festivus pole and think, "Hmm, needs more Liverpool," you're in luck!  The kind folk at LFC's online store have you covered, and we're here to make some jokes at their expense.

Only 28 shopping days until Kloppmas, so without further ado, the list:

  1. LFC Little Liver Red Snowsuit. £35: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EV-AR!!1! I don't even have a baby, but I might just have to borrow one for a few days just for this snowsuit!
  2. LFC 8PC Baubles In a Tub. £12: "Ornaments" to us Americans, and you know? They're actually not too bad.
  3. LFC 3D Stadium Puzzle. £25: Pretty awesome. I'm a little disappointed I can't buy a LFC Lego kit, but this will have to do.
  4. LFC Light Up Hat. £8: NOW WE'RE TALKIN'! A Liverpool Santa hat, and it lights up because of course it does. Now you're truly ready for the season.
  5. LFC Tree Topper. £8: Great for the top of the tree or Festivus pole. Has 11 stars, for the 10 Liverpool players you love, and the one you don't.
  6. LFC Polar Bear. £15: Darn cute plush toy. For kids. I certainly wouldn't need it. Nope, I definitely don't need my security blankie and beary to go to sleep. Not at all. I'm a grown up.
  7. LFC 4-Pack Santa Snow Baubles. £15: Woah, what happened here? Why do you have to price gouge, Santa? The big man gets a bit of fame, and forgets about all the little folk who got him there.
  8. LFC Men's and Women's Onesie. £35: How can they possibly call this a onesie without the feet? Think of the cold feet!
  9. LFC 6-Pack Christmas Crackers. £12: Pretty steep for some crackers, not going to lie. Unless these come pre-cheesed I'm going to pass.
  10. LFC Men's Santa Jumper. £30: Dear Fowler is that hideous.
Worst Jumper Ever