What position did you play?

In honour of the comments made in the "Southampton Insist There Has Been No New Lovren Bid" about what position some of the TLO commentators played in, I thought I'd make a Fanpost about it and make it fun.

I want to know what position you played in, (or make up what position you would have played in had you actually played) which player you would have been compared to had you been involved in rumour mongering on TLO, and what Conor's scout report would have said about you!

Bonus points for the phrase the press would always describe you with.

An example: You might have been a defensive midfielder in the destroyer mould, likened to Vinny Jones. Conor would describe you as having more technique than you're usually given credit for, but are poor in possession and prefer to try and break an opponents legs rather than nick the ball off them to start a counter attack.

The press refer to you as: soccer hard man Vinny Jones [well, actually insert your name or TLO "handle"]

Add more humorous observations at your own discretion!

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