The Week in Comments: "You’ll Never Have A Heart Attack Alone"

April Fools' Day: Scandal Rocks Liverpool

GunSaladin: YOU ALMOST CAUSED ME A HEART ATTACK!

sameold: You’ll Never Have A Heart Attack Alone

The Statistics That Explain Liverpool's 2013-2014 Season

Finally... Liverpool poached someone from Spurs!! At least long enough for a guest piece ;)

— wides, on our guest writer Michael Caley from Cartilage Free Captain

PhoenixTears: No wonder Andy Carroll had us marked as title contenders at the start of the season..
He had done his stats over the summer!

latortillablanca: Andy Carroll: Math(s) Wiz 5000

nihil in moderato: TGACD of 2014 rrrrrages on! The D is for data analysis, obviously

Watch: Jon Flanagan v. Tottenham

My favorite's FLANNAVARO. Either way, love the kid, his heart and that gnarly tackle on Soldado. Wish the feed would have cut to a Carra reaction shot cause I’m pretty sure the old man shed a tear at that precise moment. G’wan, Flanno.

— aj.joven.7

No Napoli Deal in the Works for Reina

Awww, he fails on the near post just like Pepe

— Mr. Sanchez, on this gif

Sterling: "Working to Make the Dream a Reality"

I bet Pascoe got him axed
Just to show who wears the shorts around here...

— R2D_2

Andy Carroll Returns

I made the mistake of telling my friend
when we got him that he was out injured after supposedly doing a bunch of Jagerbombs and then falling off a bar stool and hurting his thigh. (What an inauspicious beginning.) She has referred to him as “Jager Thigh” ever since. Occasionally she’ll still ask about him, like, “Hey, whatever happened to Jager Thigh?”

— epciskyline

Defender's Agent Rubbishes Transfer Rumours

How can we sell [Skrtel] when he has more goals than torres???!

— Laker24

nihil in moderato had an excellent translation of the Iago Aspas interview. Fowler's Red Beard wondered if ETB = ETW?

Andy Carroll Returns

Andy Carroll is brilliant. Sadly just not at playing the sort of football Liverpool want to. There’s no one I’d rather drunkenly commandeer a zeppelin with while wearing pink swim shorts, though.

— Noel

An oldie but a goodie. (via daynos)

• Total commenters: 219
• Total comments: 4532
• Total recs (lenient or otherwise): 4043
• Total green comments: 265

• Welcome to delurkers E. Ignatius Maxwell, glau, lfc spartan, and hooli. Apologies if I missed anyone!
• Wides posted the latest update to Neb's 28 point improvement plan.
• Ken Mueller posted Version 2.0 of his player analysis.

If it's not on this list, what was your favourite comment (not made by you!) this week?