The Twitter Q&A. What promises to be an opportunity to ask your favourite players all your most burning questions usually ends up being a benign exercise in providing information everyone already knows if they've been paying attention for more than five minutes.
This isn't to say a player Q&A over social media can't be interesting or amusing in some way — Mamadou Sakho certainly managed this during his own non-LFC affiliated #sakholive chat last fall — but Liverpool's #AskAgger session on Thursday on Twitter played it on the safe side. At a time when club and player accounts are monitored more closely than ever, it's hardly surprising that the questions culled from the thousands submitted are the least controversial.
But that doesn't mean there wasn't controversy, as there was one question posed by multiple people that will certainly cause a few fan tears as it shatters one of the greatest Agger myths out there.
@LFC @DanielAgger if Liverpool win the premiership this season will you still give a tattoo to the entire squad? #AskAgger— Katie Ditch (@Kat_Agger5) April 3, 2014
Agger: I've heard this many times about the tattoo, but I have never said I will do this! #AskAgger— Liverpool FC (@LFC) April 3, 2014
Hardest hit by this revelation was our very own janeytee, but fans can take solace in the fact that Agger didn't say he wouldn't do this if Liverpool win the league.
It's a testament to Agger's standing at the club and around the Premier League that this Q&A wasn't immediately jumped on by opposition fans to issue hashtag-laden insults — which hasn't been the case for previous installments of this feature — but there was still a slew of odd questions posed to the centre back that, tragically, went unanswered because we needed to know more about his love of tennis and Danish musician Kim Larsen.
Some wanted to know why their school administration was hell-bent on preventing students from marathoning Breaking Bad.
#AskAgger why is Netflix banned at my school?— Alex (@Alex__Rouse) April 3, 2014
Others placed great importance on his musical opinions.
As your nations premier export ahead of bacon and Lego, would you classify the band Aqua as Bubblegum dance or euroelectropop? #AskAgger— Lee Priest (@PriestyLee77) April 3, 2014
There was a suggestion that Agger-to-DM is totally a thing that should happen.
What's your preferred position? I think I like you Infront of the back 4 #AskAgger— John (@BabyfaceJohn) April 3, 2014
Still others seem unsure as to which European nation Agger hails from.
@DanielAgger Do you think that the Icelandic National Team would do good in the WC if it had won Croatia? #AskAgger #Boladagur— Gunnar Már Hauksson (@gunnarmh) April 3, 2014
With the increasing amount of CCTV present all over England, some raised some more topical concerns.
@LFC #askagger do you think modern surveillance is a means of citizen protection or a fulfilment of Orwell's prophecy?— T ZAY (@rumadbro00) April 3, 2014
At the end of the day, existentialism made its way into the conversation like it always does.
Last but not least, do you really know who you are? #AskAgger— MN (@m_nurhan17) April 3, 2014
Do any of us ever really know who we are, MN? This season we very well might: we are Liverpool, tra la la la la.