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Everything’s the Worst: That’s a Wrap Edition

With nothing to contribute to the general discourse on Liverpool FC, ETW is miserably turning to the international arena once again to squeeze any remaining pips from that bruised and somewhat irrelevant global orange.

I couldn't think of a better picture than this. I know right?
I couldn't think of a better picture than this. I know right?
Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports

The international break is over. Finally! Rejoice! Or not. Liverpool travel to Tyneside to face a determined Toon Army and could return to the top of the table if defeat is avoided in the early Saturday kick-off. Newcastle sit comfortably in the middle of the league table on ten points alongside Premier League stalwarts Manchester United and Aston Villa.

International football is synonymous with a samba beat and a footballing rhythm that makes fans tap their feet. That flow is usually Brazilian so a World Cup in South America next year in the home of Pentacampeões should be special. If I was a professional footballer in a wondrous alternative universe where I'd enjoy "top bantz" with the lads and prove to be an efficient EPL midfield terrier, I would not want to miss out on a World Cup in Brazil. Who would?

Watching the World Cup as a neutral is a particularly enlightened experience full of revelry yet free from needless self-imposed pressure. Fans engage in a delightful practice of doing their very best to support their respective teams with all their might and hoping that an iota of their support will translate to an advantage on a football field. That one time didn't just happen in your head because it was you that caused that goal to happen.

The World Cup isn't the sort of event that fans should completely enjoy if their national sides are aiming for anything except from heartbreak. Qualifying for the World Cup is one of the best parts of the tournament apart from competing in the event. Winning matches at a World Cup probably supersedes qualifying I suppose. Reaching the further than ever before would rank above the successfully completely the preliminary stages. Getting to the final is better too. Winning and lifting the 18 carat gold trophy is undoubtedly the best. Right. So qualifying might not be one of the best parts but it is gratifying nonetheless. It alleviates fears of being the fan on the inside yet wondering why your chosen team by birth, parentage, or choice is on the outside.

So anyone who hails from, lives in, has roots from, or is a national of Australia, Iran, Japan, South Korea, Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador, Chile, Costa Rica, United States, Honduras, Belgium, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Switzerland, England, Spain, Russia, and Bosnia-Herzegovina what's the story? Nigeria, Ghana, and Ivory Coast are likely to join them. Burkina Faso's slim advantage over Algeria is well...slim while Tunisia and Cameroon will have to score a goal to qualify. Goals win games or so I'm told. Croatia, Sweden, Romania, Iceland, Portugal, Greece, Ukraine and France will play the European play off dance to swell Europe's bloated ranks. Uruguay have everything to lose against Jordan but Mexico may find regular participation blocked by New Zealand's...umm...zeal.

The international break does strange things to ETW. Mondays and Fridays become other days or same days. Round ups and videos find time to convalesce like any sensible player would under the Dark Lord's instruction when national service dares to interrupt putrid plans. Delightful misery dissipates inexplicably and fireside chats become more fashionable than Hunter boots or jeggings on a London highstreet. Fear not children of the forlorn otherwise known as pessimistically optimistic supporter-type spawn, for this article is richly adorned with a video to ensure that your admiration for the World Cup love will be reborn. Or something like that.


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