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His fling with Fernando Torres was a glorious, passionate affair -- a summer of countryside...

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His fling with Fernando Torres was a glorious, passionate affair -- a summer of countryside lovemaking and frolics across the Old Trafford turf -- but now the England captain must cosy up to his new Uruguayan clinch without the vitality and soft skin of his youth.

A bizarre piece of writing about Steven Gerrard from Soccernet.