We're number one! We're number one! We're number one! ...Why aren't people showering me with gifts yet?
After last month's rocket-powered vodka ship to top spot on The Offside with an assist from good ol' Tom and George, it was hard to know how things would shake themselves out in November without an ownership scandal to keep people hitting refresh. I'm not entirely sure how or why, but it appears that at least a few people kept coming back and let us hold onto our rickety cardboard and duct tape throne at the top of the hill. So, as always, thanks to those who have visited, those who continue to visit, and those who will eventually visit, as well as a special thanks to those who plan on setting up click farms in rural China to allow us to keep a death grip on number one until the eventual heat death of the universe. And a thanks to all those who have made great comments and taken part in the community below the fold over recent months, too--even when you're telling me how much I suck, well, at least you notice I exist.
Sorry, we're getting into therapist territory there. On with the show...
* November saw Tea and Crumpets return with a visit from All Action, No Plot, and the best Tottenham blog on the interwebs certainly gave me a run for my money [here]
Of course, soon after that Tottenham fans decided they just had to tell me how much I suck, to which all I can say is: Thanks for helping us hold on to number one, guys, we couldn't have done it without you [here]
* Meanwhile, earlier in the month a brief influx of unfamiliar faces saw Liverpool fans telling me how much I sucked while some stuck to going a little overboard cursing out Roy Hodgson [here]
When Ed ran a caption contest, people mostly stuck to going after the latter [here]
* Apparently I did things a little less wrong at least a couple of times in November, including during the international break when I took a bit of time to look at Brazil's use of fullbacks against Argentina for a bit of tactics talk with an eye towards Liverpool's use of Glen Johnson [here]
* A few also seemed to enjoy my blatant attempt to rip off Waiting for Godot in an attempt to describe the experience of watching Liverpool's matches. After a few good displays on the bounce it suddenly feels as though that piece might be relevant once again [here]
* And back at the start of November I grabbed a fancy-ass title to try to make myself look smarter when I could have just typed Lucas Lucas Lucas Lucas 187 times in a row and left it at that. Of course then I wouldn't have been able to shoehorn Ayn Rand into an article on the LFC Offside, so there you go [here]
Elsewhere, Ed took a look at the short-lived war of words
between our current and former managers [here]
* Roy Hodgson stopped by a few times in November to chat with us, and it all started so well with a bit of sunlight peeking out from behind the clouds [here]
Though it all soon turned sour, with Rutger Hauer making a cameo appearance [here]
Before Roy and I tried to sort out which exactly was the club's worst performance under his management [here]
* When it came to those silly things called matches or games or fixtures or what have you, Ed faced up to the task of staying sober long enough to write up West Ham [here] Stoke [here] and Wigan [here] while I made a cameo for Napoli's return [here]
In amongst that run of meh and mediocrity, there was also the brief joy of the surprise three points against Chelsea, for once a reason to drink for joy rather than despondency [here]
Well, I suppose that does it, then. Please do continue commenting, visiting, twattering about us, and generally telling us how awesome we are. Or that we're worse than Hitler. Either's good. And just to make it clear: I have no morals and will shill your products for a couple of bucks, or maybe just some free samples. Because what good is being a blogger without drug-fueled stripper orgies while iPhones rain down from the heavens brought to you by Axe Body Spray?
Not much damn good is what it is. Not much damn good at all.