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Steve Gerrard, Agent Fees, and Rambling Incoherencies

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Try the cocaine, it's delicious.

There's something seriously wrong with the word "Wednesday," but I suppose that's neither here nor there, so let's see what's in the news today. Oh, look, live4liverpool has an article titled Suso: The Reason for my Nickname. Let's see what the content of the article is, shall we? Oh, here it is: "Suso: I don't know the reason for my nickname." Mind. Blown. That is just 110% pure Columbian awesome right there, but now that we're done vacuuming it up let's get on to the rest of the comings and goings...

* Steve Gerrard Gerrard, he'll pass the ball 40 yards, he's big and he's fucking hard, Steve Gerrard Gerrard. He's also expected to return for the match against Newcastle on December 11. And that part about him being hard? Yeah, I only know about it from rumours, okay? It's just what people are saying and not, you know, first hand knowledge or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

* Elsewhere in once and future news, Liverpool is planning to tour Asia again next summer, and without a major tournament upcoming it's expected to be a longer and more thorough road trip than the ones undertaken over the past few years. Final dates and locations are as yet undetermined, but anybody thinking of heading to Thailand soon for some pulled pork and plastic surgery might want to keep it in mind and plan accordingly. Pardon? No, I really don't have the slightest clue what the hell I mean by that, either.

* Moving on, Liverpool was second only to Chelsea when it came to paying fees to players' agents last season--that is, the money handed over to agents directly by the club when either renegotiating contracts or negotiating transfers in and out. What does it all mean? Haven't got a clue here, either, other than that agents are lecherous middlemen making a fortune off of leaking rumours and agitating for moves and/or more money for clients who then also send them a portion of their incomes. News at 11, then?

Well, I'm glad I could be useful this morning. If anybody can let me know what the hell I'm rambling on about I'm certainly open to suggestions. In any case, Ed will be along later with a bit more immediate team news and the preview for Thursday's Europa match. In the meantime, anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that...

Oh, and I'd meant to embed a clip from Seinfeld's "The Jimmy" episode, but things don't always work out as planned. If for some reason you want the clip originally intended to pair this post, it'shere.