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| Stare into his hair and imagine it caressing you, holding you, telling you how much it loves you. His hair will never leave you. His hair is true. |
There's been laughter, tears, and the occasional misguided Beckett pastiche, but before I close out my contributions for the week and Ed takes over in the run up to West Ham I wanted to pass along, tie-up, or otherwise sort out a couple of odds and ends. Or just a pair of them, really. But I guess a couple would have been two anyhow. First of all, last week's poll on which of Roy Hodgson's transfer dealings was the absolute worstest is now closed, and it wasn't even close: Aquilani being loaned to Juventus with a sweetener clause allowing the Italian club to buy him at the end of the season for a cut rate of £13-14M demolished the competition and racked up over 60% of the votes.
Meanwhile the collection of little idiocies that added up to Paul Konchesky's arrival nabbed just over 20% and Christian Poulsen finished the race in last place with a touch over 18%. Last to loose balls on the pitch, and last in the polls--though I guess in this case coming in last is a good thing. Sort of.
In better news for Poulsen, he still has a silky, sexy mane of hair that could conceivably, occasionally, blind opponents with its reflective luminescence on sunny days. When it's not busy impregnating women from Land's End to John o' Groats, that is. So as long as he doesn't give in and join Liverpool's bald brigade he's got at least one thing going for him. Though I guess Pepe Reina might be able to blind opponents, too, especially if he rubbed some kind of waxy lotion on his head? Like maybe Turtle Wax or one of those sorts of things you use on your car? I mean, I'm not sure if an interior leather polish or something you'd use on the exterior would be the better option, but in any case now that I think of it that might actually be his secret to being such a good penalty stopper--that he has the ability to squint a little all cool and whatnot and then BAM! he's aimed his laser-forehead cannon at strikers, temporarily blinding them on the road to great victory.
Where was I?
Right, on to something from the "I meant to highlight it in Wednesday's link roundup, but sometimes I'm an idiot and forget things--like my keys and what it looks like when Liverpool plays flowing, attacking football" department: This is Anfield risked long term damage to their mental health and picked out their picks for the ten worst Hodgson quotes (so far). A pull:
No. 3: Defending the indefensible
“Unbelievable. What do you mean by that? In 35 years, how many clubs have I had? What do you mean do my methods translate? They have translated from Halmstads to Malmo, to Orebo to Neuchatel Xamax, to the Swiss national team, so I find the question insulting. To suggest that because I have moved from one club to another, that the methods which have stood me in good stead for 35 years and made me one of the most respected coaches in Europe don’t suddenly work is very hard to believe.”
All your old favourites are there, along with a few you might not have come across before, so break out your preferred liver-destroying libation and relive Roy's grandest foot-in-mouth moments in front of the microphones.
Looking ahead, Ed will have the match preview in a little bit, and so for the next day or two I'll see you in the comment sections. In the meantime have a bit of God putting on a show last weekend and remember back to better days...
p.s.: Today's phrase of yesterday's today is "Hodgson for England." Because I spent a lot of time trying to track down a clip of Blackburn fans chanting that and not because a part of me hopes I'll hear it aired on Saturday. Why do you ask?