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Torres to Chelsahahaha...sorry.

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As I was reading brilliant reviews of the season and feeling melancholy, I came across a bunch of headlines in the futbol world saying that Roman Abramovich has bid £40million for our favorite striker. Now, put aside all the stupid reports from banks you've heard about Liverpool possibly having to sell Torres and Babel because of interest payments or some nonsense. Torres will not leave because of two reasons. 1) He produces on the field. We've finally found a striker that can leave defenders scratching their heads while saying, "what the hell just happened?" 2) he sells shirts. The Torres shirt was voted as the most sought after. The club would be silly to get rid of someone who scores goals AND makes money. Aside from shirts, I'm sure he puts a few butts in seats as well. There's links and factual data for everything I just said out there, but I'm partially drunk and unfortunately the part that is drunk controls my research methods.

There are two untouchables at the club right now, Torres is one and Gerrard is the other. They are Liverpool until the manager decides that they are not. The fans are behind both players and would absolutely shit a break if either left. You could probably lump Carragher into the mix if he played for England still, but those are the only two constants. So really, there are 4 for sure things: death, taxes, Torres, and Gerrard.