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Anfield Banter: Xabi's happy, Sven wants Crouch, Roy ponders Bells, & Hammill to Celtic or Rangers

* My man Xabi has a smile on his face right now that would melt ice cream. Despite losing his buddy, Luisy, he has two things that have made him as happy as a fat kid at an all-you-can-eat buffet. First, Torres is coming. Alonso is licking his chops at the prospect of setting up Fernando with his brilliant passes. He's also excited that his older brother might be playing for Bolton next season after being invited to the Wanderers' training camp in Austria. A new contract, a new teammate, his brother moving closer to him, man, life's good for the Spaniard right now.

* Sven has expressed his desire for Crouch to join his Man City squad. I wish he could get him, but who the hell wants to play for Man City? You aren't the best team in your own city, you have a new owner who likes to torture and kill people, and you were the most boring team in the Premiership last year and that's saying a lot. Can someone please tell me why Dick Dunne stays there? And why Didi wanted to go there?

* Imagine this, Roy Keane and Craig Bellamy in the same room at the half after getting bitch-slapped 3-0 in the first 45 minutes. Dear God, I would pay to see those two go at it. I'm pretty sure Roy would kick his ass, but I think it would be fun to watch. If we let Bells go for £6m, it better be to Sunderland.

* Finally, Adam Hammill might be joining either Celtic or Rangers. Awesome. If Nakamura leaves (or joins us, hopefully), then I hope he goes to Celtic, if not, the Rangers would be a better spot considering he'd have a better chance of playing more often. I wonder who he prefers?