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Transfer non-News: Dani Alves, Samuel Eto'o, Florent Malouda & Thierry Henry

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* Apparently Dani Alves is going to Chelsea. Well, that would suck, but he isn't exactly proven in the EPL.

* Eto'o is going to Milan. Don't care, I want Tevez.

* Didier Drogba wants Chelsea to sign Malouda, but first they might have to beat Arsenal to the chase. Once again, unproven in the Premiership and I think I'd rather have Pedersen, who is proven, or David Silva, who is only 21.

* Thierry Henry is coming! Thierry Henry is coming! Yeah, right, and honestly, he's 29 and coming off an injury-riddled season so I don't think he's the answer.

* Hicks wants us to be patient and thinks something could happen as early as next week. That's interesting considering that La Liga doesn't end for another two weeks and I doubt anyone from that league will even agree in principle until after they're done. Hopefully it means Tevez is coming.