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An Anfield Banter not-so-special: It's Spectacular Speculation Saturday!

For one day and one day only I will speculate over the speculations of others! Wait... since the season ended I pretty much do that everyday. Well, why end a good thing plus I'm bored until the Euro U21 Championship and the Copa del Rey final. So let's see what's going on.

If you didn't read my previous post, good, you didn't lose any brain cells, but just in case you were wondering, it was about an article about Rafa receiving 'interesting phone calls'. The article didn't mention what these 'interesting phone calls' were about, but apparently, they were 'interesting'. We can only speculate on that speculation.

I also found this article, which speculates about our current transfer market situation. Let's speculate about this speculation. The first topic of the article is Yossi Benayoun. The author talks about how he would be 'great value' at £4m, it's actual £4.5m or closer to £5m, at which he would still be a good buy, especially as a squad player/starter for domestic cup ties and a second-half sub. He actually just implied these latter notions, but I understand his intention and whole-heartedly agree. I also think Benayoun would make the occasional first team start on the left, pending if we sign anyone else to play there. Anyway, the author goes on to sing the praises of the Israeli's technical ability, of which I also concur.

Next up, he brings up one of the big fish, Fernando José Torres Sanz. An interesting aspect is the results from the poll conducted at that site where they asked fans which striker they would most want Rafa to bring to the team this summer, and to my surprise, Torres came in first, beating my personal pick, Tevez, by 5%. I really don't understand that since Tevez has already proven himself in the EPL, but to each his own I guess. Maybe other fans think that Torres will be easier to sign and that may be the case, but that's not what the poll was about.

What's even more scary about that poll is that Michael Owen came in third, one percentage point above Eto'o. Are you fucking kidding me? Do people not remember why Owen left the club? And trust me, it was mutual. We were willing to bypass the fact that he isn't exactly an all-round player and tends to not get back on defense, if play defense at all, that is until he made it clear that he wanted to go to a 'bigger' stage. Granted Real Madrid is a 'bigger' stage, but being a local boy, he was given the opportunity to elevate LFC to that level and instead he left for 'greener pastures'. Meanwhile, we won the Champions' League and the FA Cup and Owen won shit all down in Madrid. But that's just the icing on the cake. Nobody in their right mind would take Owen over Eto'o. No way in hell. Sure, Owen may be proven in the EPL, but that's negated by his injury woes. The cake is the fact that Eto'o is a world class striker today, right now, and Owen is no longer on that level, age and injury have significantly affected his pace. The only other argument in Owen's favor would be price since he would probably cost at least £15m less, but he's still more of a risk than Eto'o. The only things going against Eto'o, the author of that article lays mention to it, is his recent inner turmoil issues he's had with Barcelona. If he can't hack in Barca, where he's used to winning trophies year in and year out, where he's basically worshiped, where he plays in a league that's less physical, and where the weather is only a tad more agreeable, how the hell is gonna cope in Liverpool, where Cups are harder to come by, where he's going to have to make his name, where the league is rougher, and where the weather isn't that bad, but let's face it, it ain't Barcelona. Hmmm... maybe Owen is a better option?

Well, let's move on before I convince myself that he is. Next the writer quickly goes through the bottom four strikers on the poll: Villa, Henry, Huntelaar, and Bent. He basically just reiterates the reality, or my opinions mentioned in previous posts, of each potential signing by saying that Villa probably won't leave Spain, Henry will never play for another EPL team, Huntelaar's not the immediate answer, and the price for Bent is too high.

Then he delves into the subject that is Fernando José Torres Sanz. He first mentions the young striker's goal-to-game ratio which is a little bit better than 3-to-1. Though it's better than Ivanhoe Hesky's career ration, it is still not really that impressive for a starting striker though, as the author mentions, he 'is still only 23 with bags of ability.' Agreed. Then he starts to talk about the big issue concerning Torres, the transfer fee. Atletico are unwilling to sell, but there is a £27m buy-out clause in his contract. I guess it's up to him then, huh?

Let me sum the final three or four paragraphs quickly because I'm losing interest. He mentions the Manicini-Roma issue and how it's similar to the Torres-Atletico transfer fee issue, how Malouda is our second option if we can't sign Mancini (yeah, right), he says that we should pay whatever we need to, to sign who we need to, and then ends it by taking a slag about how the new owners are all talk and so far, no action. I definitely concur with that last sentiment, but I have a different opinion on whether we really need to sign certain, high-priced players to win the EPL or Champions' League. I remember something Rafa said a while back, 'We will only sign players who want to come here.' Makes sense to me. No use bringing in some player who won't be happy in Liverpool and playing for LFC.

Next let's speculate about a speculation from our resident Offside self-proclaimed genius, Chris from the AS Roma Offside. You see, Chris is so smart that he thinks that everyone takes the English press as if it's the gospel, when in fact, nobody does. Well, maybe FC Fulham (a.k.a. Chelsea) fans, but then again their messiah, Jose 'the Special One' Mourihno, is the king of the English press quote. Anyhow, Chris wrote this gem concerning English press releases:

"The Reggina duo of Giandomenico Mesto & Francesco Modesto are still in play. Though the English media is reporting Mesto has chosen Liverpool over Roma because anywhere with poor weather and a tea time is obviously like totally the first choice of any Italian because the EPL is like the most awesomest league ever, duuuuhhhhhhhhh. Yes, that’s a direct quote."

First, when you 'directly quote' a article, you should probably link it. Second, if your trying to insinuate the tone or opinion, you should probably directly quote it. Third, if you think a player chooses one place over the other because of weather, well, that brings a lot into question. First, no player with any sort of desire to, oh, I don't know, win cups, goes to a place because of the weather. If that was the case then the Cyclades would have the best league in the world. Second, if you think players choose to go to AS Roma because of the weather, well, no wonder you guys have only won two major cups in what? Fifteen years? If any of the quote above is an attempt to show your wit or sense of humor, you failed miserably.

If that wasn't enough, concerning Liverpool's Mancini bid, he states:

"I’ve taken to floating around various message boards lately (very very minimally) just to see other people’s take on the status of deals, rumors or the team. One of the funniest is going to other team’s message boards because they typically think they can go out and buy anyone they want. For any amount. Example A from a Liverpool forum:

"I would like to say that if Liverpool officials are in Madrid . . . why are they not in Rome to close the Bellamy for Mancini deal??????"

Love EPL fans. Love em. I love Liverpool, the club not the fans, but how fucking dumb to you have to be to think Roma would do a deal like that? I’m sure I could go down to the local zoo and get a unanimous vote against it. I wouldn’t send Adrian Pit (Pronounced ‘Piz’) to Liverpool for Bellamy (not because of talent, because Totti would likely wind up dead or in jail for life after a round of 18). I’m not going to drag every Brit into this, but I’d like to start a petition to prevent some (read: most) EPL fans from procreating and soiling the gene pool."

First of all, I would love to know which message board you got that from, a Liverpool one or an AS Roma one. Second, why are you 'floating around various message boards'? Dude, there's just no point, well, unless you're having a laugh, but surely you can find better outlets for that. Are you just looking for absurd things to slag off the EPL about? Inferiority complex? I agree that Bellamy for Mancini is just plain stupid, anyone who knows anything about football would agree, but to assume that's the status quo among EPL or Liverpool fans is truly stupid and somewhat ignorant, but that's your prerogative.

Anyhow, moving on, one last speculation to speculate about. The name of this article is 'Reds may hijack Spurs' Bent deal'. Brilliant. I may eat a chicken sandwich today or I may eat some pasta or I may just fast. So ridiculous. The subtitle is even better: 'Charlton hitman Darren Bent is expected to complete a £16million move to Spurs next week - unless Liverpool make a last-ditch offer for him.' Oh shit. Do you mean if Liverpool try to make a better deal for Bent, Charlton will sell him to LFC instead of Tottenham? That is just crazy! The actual article is really not that bad and pretty informative, which makes the title and subtitle even more ridiculous. It basically goes into the aspects of Tottenham's offer for Bent, Liverpool's situation with Torres, Defoe possibly being the odd man out if Bent comes on, and Bent rejecting West Ham's offers.

All right, well, I'm either gonna go peruse the message boards or maybe watch a Dolph Lundgren film. I can't decide. Ciao.

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