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Anfield Banter: Fernando Torres, Diego Milito, Giandomenico Mesto (huh?), Shearer still hates Bellamy, Mourinho is still an idiot, Who gives a crap about Darren Bent, & Former Tory leader Michael Howard has offered to be a witness for Liverpool fans

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* Apparently we're putting all the chips on Fernando Torres. He wants out of Atletico and who can blame him? I'm not really sure how he'll work out in the Premiership, but he's young and has time to adjust. According to the link above we're offering Luis Garcia in the deal. Well, that sucks, now who am I gonna bitch about turning the ball over every five minutes?

* We have also apparently made an official bid of £13m for Diego Milito. Great. I'm so excited. In that same article, there's talk of our attempts to acquire Giandomenico Mesto from Serie A side Reggina. Never heard of him. Apparently he can play left back and right back, but is predominantly a right-sided defensive midfielder. I'm assuming we're bringing him in to play right back though. Anybody know if he's any good?

* Just the thought of Bellamy returning to his beloved Toon has driven Alan Shearer to drink.

* Why is it that Chelsea and their fans are obsessed with Liverpool? Is it because they can't beat us when it counts? You would think Mourinho would have better things to talk about, but apparently he doesn't. He's out of his freaking mind at some points during that article. Here is the highlight:

The FA Cup final was a special final, an historic one, more than a normal FA Cup final.

Uh, was he watching the same match everyone else was? What a delusional nutter. Seriously, I want those two hours of my life back.

* Dear Charlton, Darren Bent is not World Class, because if he was, you'd still be in the Premiership. Regards, A football fan who lives in reality.

* Finally, Michael Howard QC has offered to be a witness for Liverpool fans demanding compensation from UEFA after they were shut out of the Champions´ League final. Howard, a Liverpool fan, is willing to give evidence that UEFA are a shit organization (my words) and that fans who had legitimate tickets and who were barred from entering the grounds deserve compensation. I hope this doesn't just go away because UEFA deserves all the negative press it receives.