Suarez "Lost His Balance" and Was Just Trying to Break His Fall With His Teeth, Chiellini's Shoulder, Probably

Julian Finney

An official statement from Luis Suarez reveals his version of the events that took place in the match against Italy, and it's not exactly based in reality.

Luis Suarez has returned to Montevideo and, as you'd expect for someone fresh off a record-setting ban for biting an opponent, he's received a hero's welcome from supporters. Surely it's genuine, and it's admirable enough for that, but it also seems terribly misguided. Support him, sure, but let's also not do any enabling by suggesting that there is any sort of actual defense for what he did. He bit an opponent during a football match, and that's not an okay thing to do. We're not comparing and contrasting, just stating the obvious. And there's not really a defense for that.

What's that? You're saying there is a defense, Luis? Oh, then take it away:

"In no way it happened how you have described, as a bite or intent to bite. After the impact ... I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth."

If it wasn't so utterly depressing it would be hilarious--no, no, nevermind what you saw, I just happened to be falling there and tried to break my fall with my teeth and his shoulder. Simple as. Or maybe not so simple as considering instant replay is a thing in these modern times, and the visual evidence in this case rather clear.

He bit Giorgio Chiellini. Let's at least agree on that much.

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