According to Polonius, "brevity", dear reader, is "the soul of wit." This may well explain the absence of humorous perspicacity from my usual dour and aeonian treatises. This morning, in an attempt to bring variety to my own wretched life and a little blessed relief to yours, I shall essay the task of simply presenting to you the latest Liverpool-related speculation and news without the wordy analysis of same. I'm failing already, aren't I? Right, to work.
There's only so much wallowing one can do when one is in constant receipt of grim tidings. My own life's unending travails and sorrows have taught me that of late. Elizabeth has already brought you the most recent twist in the Luis Suarez to Real narrative and, to be fair, the player himself is the main storyteller, thus far.
My eye was caught by a related story run by The Mirror. As with all bastions of truth and journalistic integrity, you should afford any news emanating from this particular paper your complete trust. Or you could not do that. One of the two options will help you avoid terrifying bouts of rage and self-loathing.
In today's edition, David Maddock is suggesting that, as a way for Liverpool to feel they are extracting value from any potential deal, they may move to take Spanish Under 21 international and Real Madrid man, Alvaro Morata, to Anfield. Morata has been strutting his considerable stuff in the European Under 21 Championships of late and has scored four goals en route to the final with Italy.
Morata is not a complete novice in first team football either, having appeared eighteen times for Los Blancos in La Liga and scored twice, all by his current age of twenty. The young Spaniard, it seems, knows his own mind, and has insisted that should his ascension to the first team on a regular basis be blocked by an array of talented new signings, he will look to move on for the benefit of his career.
Intriguingly, Morata sees his future outside of Spain and, speaking before the European tournament, the striker was unequivocal about the effect of seeing the likes of Edinson Cavani, Robert Lewandowski or indeed Luis Suarez arrive at the Bernabéu.
"If another striker is brought in," insisted the youngster, "I will have to think about what's best for me, and consider leaving. If I go, I would prefer a move abroad."
So then, there we have it. To invoke Sorcese's Wizard character in Taxi Driver -- A player may leave. Another player may arrive. It's not Bertrand Russell but what do you want? I'm a writer. What do I know?