FanPost

Liverpool Detective Agency: The Real McKlopp

It's been a week or so since I finally reconnected with Q but things are still a bit upside down. My office has been flooded with tons of work thanks to Q "handing my card out to his friends" - which, it turns out, is Scouse for "setting up at the Albert Dock with Lucas and giving the card out to random Liverpudlians." I like the thought but for every legitimate case I've received, there've been about 4 non-starters/prank calls. So, it's been busy.

Outside my office, Los Angeles is sprawled in a bed of sun and mild panic ahead of what should be a full week of rain. After the past few years of drought, the concept of a steady downpour feels unfamiliar and even now, with that perfect sunset tint bathing the the downtown skyline in the hues of gold only familiar to those in this dusty metropolis, it feels kind of like a cruel cosmic joke.

"AJ!"

My administrative assistant, Gloff Elwood (I've been told it's Dutch), breaks my line of thought with his unmistakable voice. Having been raised in New Jersey by Southern parents, Gloff (or Trev for short) has this weird, sing song-y accent. I guess you could just imagine Chris Christie ending all of his sentences with "y'all" and that'd be close.

"AJ, we've got a call from Q and it looks like a good one. Also, don't forget, you've got an interview with that candidate to help lighten the case load around here," Trev says.

"Ah, right," I say before swigging my last bit of bourbon. "Patch Q through and tell the candidate I'll be with him in five minutes."

My intercom buzzes and I know Q's on the other end.

"What's new, mate?" I ask.

"Well, we have a big problem on our hands: it seems a small sector of our fan base has started to spread rumors that the recent struggles on the field are signs that Jurgen Klopp is a fraud. And...I mean...those hugs are proof enough that he's not, but Jurgen has already shot down my idea to have a meet and hug with supporters."

"Ah, ok," I say with a slight smile on my face. A real case. "I've scheduled a short appointment to take place right after this conversation, but I'll get to it immediately."

"Thanks, AJ. That's real fresh, man."

Before I can respond with my consternation at Q's insistent use of young people phrases, he's gone. I ring Trev and ask him to bring the candidate in. A short, dark-haired and athletic young man walks in.

"Hi! My name is Joshua Tower and I'm glad we were able to make this work!"

There's something off about Joshua Tower. His mega-watt smile, super stylish hair and ultra-sophisticated suit are all exotic sights around my Boyle Heights office, sure, but it's his voice - I hear a hint of Spanish.

"Yes, thanks for coming all of this way, Mr. Tower. If I may ask, you've got quite the investigative resume which made me wonder why you would want to work for such a small operation," I say, guardedly.

"Well, I hear you've been pulling case work mostly in Liverpool and I've got a bit of history there."

"Oh?" I try not to act intrigued but his hair style has my defenses down. "What history? I mean, for all of the successful work you've done, I half-expected a man twice your age to saunter through those doors."

"No, no, I've had a really early start. I'm a bit of a prodigy in this game, I guess."

"Yes, I see. Though, it looks like your most recent stint, in Northern Italy, hasn't gone super hot?"

"Unfortunately, no. I fear my best years were spent in Liverpool which is why I've taken this rather circuitous route to get back there."

"Ah, I see." Something still feels off about this guy. I'll press him with a bit of a test. "Ok, well, we've just picked up a case from Liverpool today - about Jurgen Klopp. Have you heard of him?"

"Uh...just bits here and there but nothing much," he stammers, eyes aglint.

"Alright," I say as my suspicions are piqued. "Take a look at this case file and I'll step out for about 15 minutes. When I get back we can talk about your recommendations."

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"Something's up with this guy, Trev. I mean, he's so young and that accent..." I trail off.

"And that hair! But for real I think you're just freaking out, y'all."

"For the last time, Trev, you can't just add 'y'all' to the end of-"

"AJ!" Tower shouts from the other room. "I think I have something."

I glance at my watch, it's been exactly 5 minutes. This kid's something special.

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"What do you have, kid?" I ask.

"Ok, so the Liverpool fans have worked themselves into a froth over the recent run of matches with the results against Stoke, West Brom and West Ham bringing on this new bit of mania, right? Well, has anyone talked about the concept of projects versus expectations?"

"I'm not sure I follow, Tower."

"Well, entering this season, many were dubious about all of the pieces in the mix for LFC. There was talent, sure, but there were many question marks with respect to fit (Benteke), acclimitaztion (Firmino) and overall talent (Ings). With the club playing so poorly at the end of Brendan Rodgers' tenure, it should be no surprise that while Klopp might have managed to get his charges to not just adapt to his system as well as to place these players in their best position to succeed, it's not a stretch to say that he's missing a few pieces, right? I mean, most would have agreed when he came on that he was in for a project and it was one of the selling points for bringing Klopp on. But even then, this was the man that took two years to take a Dortmund side in the bottom half of the league at the time he took over to being BuLi title winners. I think it's far too early yet for the supporters to get so frisky." He looks up from his notes to me. "What do you think?"

"I...uh...I think you've the job, young man. Trev! Get Q on the phone!"

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"...and that's what we've got, Q, thanks to my new side-kick, Joshua Tower."

"Well, that sounds great, thank you both for turnting this case over so quickly," Q exclaims over the speaker phone.

"I don't think that's how you use 'tur-'"

"Uh...Josh," I say, interrupting him. "I'm gonna finish this call up with Q. How about you get your paper work done with Trev and I'll meet you in a few minutes."

"Sounds good, sir!"

"Ian," I say with a bit of a sigh. "This kid...he's good. A little too good, if you know what I mean..."

"Oh! Oh! He's lit af, amirite?!"

"FFS, Q...stay with me, mate!"

"Ok...ok...yeah...I think I follow. And he just...appeared out of the blue?"

"Yeah," I say. "He comes by with this loaded resume fresh off a stint in Milan and just happens to want to find a way back to Liverpool. Have you heard of a Joshua Tower before?"

"No, but his voice did seem familiar. I'll ask around and I'll let you know what I come up with."

"Thanks, Q. Let's play this close to the vest. Something is...familiar about this kid. I'll catch you later."

To be continued...

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