Liverpool Power Rankings: Tattoos Edition II

Ulet Ifansasti

New ink comes and old ink goes during the transfer window, and thus it's time for another round of Liverpool Power Rankings: Tattoos Edition.

Manager, players, and fans alike have marvelled at how different things are at Liverpool Football Club this season. It's an intangible difference that can't be measured in statistical analysis, and it's bound up in improvements in attitude, character, and, yes, tattoos. A central concern during the transfer window was the inked status of potential new recruits. "Sure, he can score goals," was the not-so-secret thought every time a new player was linked with the club, "but why is his taste in tattoos so bad?"

And so it's time to revisit the most abstract measurement of a player's true potential with a club: the Tattoo Power Rankings.

Top Five

5) Glen Johnson and 4) Martin Skrtel
The defensive pair slip a few spaces without completely falling off our list. Neither has added anything noticeably new to their fine collection of tats, but both the volume and general quality of existing work sees them both maintain a hold on the top five in spite of the number of new players brought in during the off season. Both may want to consider expanding their respective inked surface areas in the future if they want to ensure continued placement on this list. There may or may not also be a correlation between tattoos and a place in the starting line-up. I'm just saying.

3) Philippe Coutinho
Phil was cruelly overlooked during the inaugural Power Rankings due to his major work being regularly hidden under his kit and thus going unnoticed. The presence of Instagram in his life demonstrated a substantial pair of praying hands on his left shoulder , as well as a much smaller tattoo that allegedly reads "Thanks" in Arabic but probably actually means something much closer to your average poorly translated Chinese character tattoo.

2) Luis Alberto
Although he hasn't yet had much of an opportunity to put in a strong showing for the senior team during his short tenure on Merseyside, Luis Alberto debuts at #2 this time out for exemplifying everything Brendan Rodgers holds dear in his transfer strategy: youth, vitality, an inability to break into his previous team, and a full sleeve of ink. As if he could have ended up with any other club.

1) Daniel Agger
Ascending to the vice-captaincy and sporting a new proper adult hair cut have not slowed the centre back's acquiring of new tattoos and thus he retains his title as Tattoo King. Having finally run out of skin elsewhere on his body, Agger eventually moved on to his legs last spring in order to make room for a fairly large dedication to his infant son, Mason, in the form of hearts, flowers, wings, and who knows what else. Not content to stop there, Agger is slowly adding who the hell knows omg all around the loving adoration of his son.

You'll also be delighted to know that he's added a moon to his right hand to match the sun on his left, but tragically there are no clear photos of it.

Honourable Mentions

Poor Suso got short shrift last time out and really should have been a strong rival for Andre Wisdom in the smallest age-to-number-of-tattoos category.

Iago Aspas has... something on his leg. Warrior would be proud.

The Kolo Touro guy.

Departed Ink

We lost Jonjo Shelvey's considerable contributions when he departed for Wales, but the midfielder aside there was very little lost in the way of outgoing tattoos. Further proof that the club is headed in the right direction with its personnel choices.

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