Everything's the Worst: Have a Kit Kat Edition

Ronald Martinez

Disgracefully ignoring the friendly salad in the room, ETW is back to neatly round up what's been happening at Liverpool and elsewhere, replete with links and words.

Should the international break be so long and so early in the season? Really Sepp? Really? The start of the season felt like what Al Pacino's John Milton referred to in that fiendish rant in The Devil's Advocate. Sepp Blatter and his FIFA cabal were at the centre of it all. Naturally.

I swear, for His own amusement, His own private cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Aha ha ha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is He doin'? He's laughin' His sick, f---in' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never!

Indeed. Now ETW understands the purpose of the temporary cessation of club football activities for an international jamboree.

Now Blatter admits he might, just might, have erred in awarding a World Cup to Qatar. ETW thinks the World Cup should travel to different continents but the central component here is he's admitting to the possibility of a mistake. Not the actuality mind you but small steps; that's where the seeds of recovery can germinate for Sepp. One day at a time friend, one day at a time.

Now that Liverpool's involvement with the international break is over, we can count the damage to our ranks. Apart from any injury concerns prior to the international break, looking at you Sturridge, our disposition should be cheerful on that front. It wouldn't be a hasty to assume that Martin Kelly, Joe Allen, and Kolo Toure have all made progress in rehabilitation in the past ten days. All could make the squad on Monday, which is still five days away. Monday will provide definitive answers on the effects of the international break on Liverpool's momentum. The early intermission might have given those players time needed for gym work away from mental pressure to get fit in a few days to help the squad or regain a place in the team.

Brendan Rodgers has been handed some time to figure out how the next couple of games will be approached given that his side has displayed uncharacteristic resilience in the new season. One nil wins cannot continue ad infinitum. Of course, the same time is also afforded to opposition managers. However, sitting at the top of the league must enable less frantic pacing in the pursuit of solutions and more relaxed chin stroking in the concoction of a successful tactical strategy.

  • Liverpool Ladies will take on Everton Ladies in the Merseyside derby on The Women's Super League on Thursday 19.30 BST & 14.30 EST. Liverpool Ladies are three points ahead of Arsenal Ladies and five points in front of Bristol Academy Women even if Bristol's finest have a game in hand. Two games left. Two wins needed. Title glory beckons.
  • World's Most Expensive Football Player Ever Watch. Fans want to hug Gareth Bale on the pitch but it's a security risk. Mere mortals just can't touch the most expensive footballer ever just like that. Gareth Bale will be under pressure says Zlatan. Listen to Zlatan or continue to live in foolishness. Gareth Bale might start at left-back to announce his expensive presence to Real Madrid. FIFA 14 had to change Bale's kit on the cover and close his mouth. According to Wales' national team manager, Gareth Bales is not fully fit.
  • Still on the subject of Welsh players, most Liverpool fans are fond of Craig Bellamy and it's always good to check in on the firebrand. He's one of the livelier characters in the British game and the possibility of him retiring at the end of this season might be fitting now that his beloved Cardiff City have reached the Premier League. Bellamy is certainly looking ahead, "Life isn't just about football. The adventure starts when you finish and I'm looking forward to that." Hopefully, Bellamy can retire knowing that he played his part in keeping Cardiff City in the English Premier League.

Which set of fans will relate to the following video after 90 minutes next Monday?

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