With all the strikers on the move across Europe this summer, the Uruguayan duo of Luis Suarez and Edinson Cavani have been the most talked about. Permutations of their final destinations have been run and painfully dissected, and each player's fate seems to ride on where his compatriot doesn't end up on September 1.
Naturally, Real Madrid is one of many clubs in the mix, in part because Galácticos and in part because of rumours surrounding the potential departure of their own strikers (Gonzalo Higuain to Arsenal, Cristiano Ronaldo back to Manchester United hahahha nopenopenope). Madrid are unlikely to want or need both Suarez and Cavani, and the Times are now reporting — behind their paywall, folks — that they've stopped their pursuit of Cavani and are instead looking to recruit Suarez as their "marquee" signing for the summer.
It's a bit of an abrupt 180° turn for Madrid, who up until this point have rebuffed Suarez's longing advances with a stony wall of silence and disinterest. It's been a month since Liverpool's chatty star striker provided some ill-advised answers to very pointed questions about a potential future with Real Madrid, and since Liverpool put a muzzle on the Uruguayan, his one-sided courtship of Los Blancos has cooled off as much as it possibly can during a drama-laden transfer window.
Through all of Suarez's poorly translated interviews with Uruguayan radio, Real Madrid never made an inquiry regarding the player's services. They were, of course, without a manager, but now that Carlo Ancelotti has arrived the club are expected to put together a formal offer for Suarez in the next few weeks. It's probably a bit optimistic to assume the offer will match Liverpool's £50 million valuation of the striker, but if they did it would be a hard offer to pass up.
With all the potential doom and gloom at the thought of Real Madrid finally taking a legitimate interest in Suarez, a small pick-me-up may be in order. If the Suarez-to-Arsenal rumour brought you a few moments of mirth, its sequel is even more ridiculous. In the future universe where Cavani ends up at Real Madrid instead of Suarez, Suarez is rumoured to be heading to one of Cavani's other potential destinations: Chelsea.
This future universe makes sense insofar as it probably would require a rift in the space-time continuum for Chelsea to make a legitimate move for a player who bit one of their own and who will miss the first six matches of the season from the resulting bite-based ban, and for Liverpool to accept the £34 million bid Chelsea are offering. Trololo.
Rumour Mongering: The Clinically Insane Edition 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Read More: Transfer Talk: The Luis Suarez Transfer Saga